Slumber Party With Mom

Tonight I get to have a slumber party with my Mom! I am going to drive a couple hours to her town and pick her up. We will then drive a couple more hours to a city where we will likely have a nice dinner. I've made a reservation at a lovely hotel. I think she will like it!

It will be nice to spend time with her.  I really love my Mom!

We probably won't be too terribly relaxed, though. You see, this isn't a leisure trip. Mom has surgery tomorrow morning. I wish she didn't have to but I'm also grateful this day has finally arrived.  It took a long time for her to receive her diagnosis and more time yet to get to this day so she could take action on her own behalf.

I feel honored that I get to have this small role in helping my Mom as she deals with all this. My brother and my sister have been available to her as well. My sister will be keeping Mom's church family informed and praying. My brother will be easing Mom's worries over her pets. We will all be seeking opportunities to do things for her but we wish we could do more. We wish we could take some of this load from her. What we can do is keep her aware that she isn't doing this alone!

I am feeling grateful, also, for all the strangers who are helping her. Today I am very grateful that there are people willing to learn to be surgeons. I'm grateful for all the hours and practice that has brought my Mom's surgeon to this day where she feels confident that she can help my Mom.

I am grateful for all those who have studied cancer, promoted research and donated time and money to the effort of saving lives.

Tomorrow we will meet nurses and other caretakers who will be helping my Mom. They will be assisting her on this mission to getting her back to good health. For this, I am grateful as well. They will be rewarded by getting to meet this classy, courageous woman.

It feels weird to me to be on the other side of all this. It won't be me starting this patient's IV. I won't be taking her vital signs or giving her medication. It won't be me explaining to her what she will be experiencing tomorrow. But, it will be me waiting during the surgery. It will be me calling family afterward to assure them she is doing will. I will post to Facebook for relatives and my Mom's friends. It will be me making sure she asks for pain meds, a drink or whatever she needs. It will be me representing her family and all the love they are sending her way.

As family, I find myself already wishing those who take care of her knew her better. It seems they should be told of all her kindnesses, of her strength, of her artistic talent, how she makes the best stuffing, how she makes her yard and home look like something out of a magazine, how she gave up so much of herself for those she loved. I suppose it is not necessary that they know all that. Why do I want them to know these things?

I'm kind of rambling now, aren't I?

Iff you are the praying type, maybe say a prayer for my Mom tomorrow. Her name is Grace.

Bad Neighbors

Cancer cells are like bad neighbors who do not abide by the rules. That is one of the things I used to tell new cancer patients when I was an oncology nurse. I'll explain what I mean.

Rule #1 is that cells are supposed to serve a purpose. Lung cells are supposed to contribute to your ability to breathe. Skin cells are supposed to work together to keep you covered. Cancer cells just don't feel obligated to contribute in any way. They are happy enough to sit around and use up your body's resources for their own satisfaction. It's kind of like an unwelcome neighbor coming in and eating all the food in your kitchen but not lifting a finger to clean up. That is just rude.

Rule #2 is that cells should not reproduce to the point of overcrowding. Cancer cells just keep on reproducing. If you lived in an apartment and the neighbors across the hall lived in their own little two bedroom apartment, you might agree they should not have 70 children. Cancer cells just don't really seem to care if it is crowded, even if it is to the point of causing damage to the apartment walls, so to speak. They don't care if they knock down their own walls and spill into your apartment. That is NOT neighborly.

Rule #3 is that cells are supposed to stay in their own yard. That is, breast cells are meant to stay in the breast. They aren't supposed to go lounging around in the lungs as that is not their yard. Colon cells aren't welcome in the liver but sometimes they go to that yard and just set up camp all over the place. Again, rude!

OK, I realize that I am personifying cancer cells. They aren't their own beings; they are actually just our own cells that have become malformed through faulty mutations.  However, some believe imagery is helpful not only to understand this process but also to put a stop to it.

So, how do you put a stop to bad neighbors? Any suggestions where to take this imagery from here? I guess we could call the cops (doctors) to come help with the eviction. That seems reasonable. Any better ideas?

Cancer has been on my mind because we just found out my Mom has some "bad neighbors" and she's got to do some evicting of her own. We have a lot of reasons to expect a good outcome but I'm just upset that she has to deal with cancer at all. She is an incredible woman who has shown her strength in both little and big ways. I know she can handle this. I just didn't want her to have to.

Cancer is a terrible neighbor.

Yet I Receive the Hugs

During my years of being a chemotherapy nurse I got to meet a lot of people. Even though it has been two and a half years since I gave my last drop of chemo, I still see patients from that time all around town. Yesterday, it happened again. I was shopping for groceries and I saw a former patient. When we first met, he was fighting a terrible cancer and I was one of his chemotherapy nurses. I run into him from time to time now as he works where I often shop. Seeing him always warms my  heart. We chatted for a few minutes. He spoke of his treatment and recovery, his remarkable recovery. Then we went our separate ways.

This particular patient was very, very ill at one time. As a matter of fact, there was a point when we were all afraid that he would not survive through his cancer treatment. He is a real quiet person who didn't freely complain but he really, really suffered and we knew it. Our hearts broke as we saw him lose more and more weight and become desperately ill. He suffered more than most.                                                                            

He did survive, though, and I get to receive the sweet hugs and smiles when I see him. He hugs me because he is just so grateful to be alive. He sees me as part of the reason he lives. I love seeing him. I always walk away feeling lighter. He makes me feel like a heroine.

After I left him yesterday, though, I started thinking about the other nurses that gave him chemotherapy. I plan to ask them if they ever see him. I know it would make them feel so good about the work we did together.  Then, I started thinking about how really it wasn't us who saved him. I was mentally giving credit to the doctor who prescribed the chemo that we gave. Her knowledge and expertise were what saved him.

After mentally honoring the doctor for a bit, I thought even further back in the process. I thought about those who worked years on clinical trials to test the medications we gave this patient. There were patients and clinical personnel alike who were a part of those trials. I mentally honored them for what they did to make these drugs available to our patient.

Then, I thought further back yet. Before the clinical trials there were scientists and other researchers who came up with the theories and recipes for chemo medications. These people work years to perfect their products. They likely never see the patients who benefit from their work. What I did as a chemotherapy nurse would not ever have been possible without all those people!  Behind every little vial of chemotherapy we put into our patients, there was years of work and likely hundreds or even thousands of people who played a part in making it available. They all deserve the credit.

Yet, I am the one who receives the hugs.
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(photo from FREEDIGITALPHOTOS.NET / Bill Longshaw)

                          

One day, when returning my shopping cart to the little corral place, someone walking by offered to take my cart.  Such a simple offer but it made me feel just a little bit better about the world.

Truly, it only saved me a few steps but it really did more than that.  

You know how sometimes a little event in a store can put you in a bad mood?  Maybe someone races to get in the check-out line before you or they talk real loud on their cell phone while blocking the aisle?  One of the worst for me is shopping in the early afternoon, hearing all the little children crying their way through the store while their parent talks in a mean voice to them.  I really want to just suggest they take naptime seriously and plan their shopping trips around that.

Oh, wait... this post is going in the wrong direction and I'm getting kind of down again!

OK, back on track!  I wanted to just talk about how one simple little gesture can  brighten someone's day.  I'm not talking about changing a life, but you never know how far that one gesture could go.  Perhaps by offering to return a shopping cart for somebody you put them in such a good mood they go home and speak more kindly to their child, who then loves up on the puppy instead of pulling it's tail.  The puppy grows up more calm and doesn't bite the mailman.  The mailman then has a brighter outlook on life and smiles at a group of teens as they drive by.  The teens then feel valued and instead of joining a gang and spraypainting grafitti, they go to college. While at college, one of them develops an interest in medical research and eventually becomes world-renowned for developing a cure for cancer...all kinds of cancer! 

Whew!  Good thing you offered to return someone's cart to the cart corral!

HOPE- A Tribute to Bobbi

I don't know if any of you felt it yesterday, but the world lost some of its glow.  Our friend, Bobbi, went home to Jesus.

I only met Bobbi because she had cancer and I was an oncology nurse.  That's how our paths crossed.  She was sick and I, among many, tried to help her.  Well, as happens often enough, she probably helped us a lot more than we helped her.

Bobbi was one of those people who shared her smiles freely.  There was a warmth about her, and a zest for life.  Bobbi loved her family and friends and she knew that she was well-loved in return.  Bobbi had much to live for.

Bobbi had a theme word, HOPE.  One day we were talking about my love for giraffes.  Another patient had told me that in Africa, giraffes were the symbol for hope.  Bobbi said, "Oh, that's my word!"  After that, we always mentioned the word, "hope" to each other.   One day she brought in 4 red letters to spell "hope" and gave it to me.  I have had them on my bathroom mirror ever since.  I wanted it where I would see it first thing each morning.

The last time I went into our chemo clinic was rather a hard day for me.  My recurring illness had become annoying enough that I was no longer able to continue doing the job I loved so much.  I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  My plan was to come in, clean out my desk, and leave as quickly as I could so that I wouldn't cry in front of people.   It just so happened that Bobbi was there that day.  She called me over to her treatment chair.  She gave me a hug and spoke words of encouragement to me.  My situation was not as grim as her's, but she was speaking words of assurance to me.  She was ministering to me.  I was so very grateful.

So as we are mourning our loss,  I am trying to focus on HOPE.  Mike helped me find a bible verse that comforted me.  Romans 5:3-5  "...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our  hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Bobbi suffered and endured.  She had great character, and she had HOPE.  Bobbi knew her life would not end when cancer claimed her body.  She knew she was wrapped in God's love and she knew that she would go to be with her Lord. 

See you later, Bobbi.