Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Day Mike Gave Me a Shock

Before I start this story I want to say that this is my 600th blog post.  Good grief!  That's like writing 600 assignments but no one is telling me to do it.  Baffling.  Anyway, I'm telling you this because I am a bit worried that perhaps I've blogged the following story before.  However, I didn't get it to pop up with any of the labels I could think of to search.  I'm much too lazy to go back and plow through 600 posts to look for it.  My hope is that I've not told the story before or that if I have, you won't remember it either.  If those hopes fall through, I then hope you'll forgive the repeat.

OK, onward...

Once upon a time, three years into our marriage, Mike and I were living a very different life than we do now.  Only one month after our wedding Mike's dad died.  Not long after that his mom left the farm.  Shortly after that, we moved to the farm.  We were living in the house where Mike had lived his whole childhood.  I'd been rather a gypsy child so the idea of settling down was very, very appealing to me.  It was a delightful life.


Our days were lovely.  I admit I am blocking out the memories of farm equipment breaking down, hurried drives, sometimes 150 miles round-trip, looking for some stupid little part for the tractor.
I'm also blocking out the times we stood at the window watching for clouds when we desperately needed rain.  I'm also blocking out the times we stood at the same window watching a big storm approach, praying it wouldn't hail and ruin the wheat just before it was ready for harvest.

What I do remember are the days of working alongside Mike.  The winter afternoons we had time to play cribbage or other games.  I remember lots of time to sew, crochet or bake.  I remember Mike upstairs singing and playing his guitar.  I remember quiet nights and bright stars, sometimes even Northern Lights.  I remember bringing home our first baby to a community who remembered her great grandmother.  I had friends that I expected to know for a lifetime.  What I'm saying is, I loved our life there.  We both did.

The day of the big shocker is still pretty clear in my mind.  Maria, our first baby, was just two months old.  I'd taken her with me that morning as I was helping out at our church with Vacation Bible School.  After VBS I remember talking with my friend, Valerie.  I really liked her and confided in her how happy I was to be living on Mike's family farm.  I felt I belonged.  I told her I wanted to DIG MY ROOTS 100 FEET DEEP.  Yep, that's what I said.

Later that day, or maybe it was evening, Mike wanted to talk.  I didn't have any premonition of change.  I didn't expect anything out of the ordinary.  I didn't expect to be shocked.  I was, though.  Mike told me he'd been wrestling with something for quite awhile.  He told me he thought he was supposed to be a pastor!  I'm glad to tell you I didn't throw a fit.  I just mumbled, "Well then, let's go" ... or something along those lines.  

OK, maybe that doesn't seem so crazy now because I've known him as a pastor for many years.  It doesn't seem strange at all.  But that day I was really shocked.  Mike was very spiritual and attended church faithfully.  His preference, though, was to arrive at the church exactly as the service began and to leave pretty quickly afterward.  I certainly never got the idea he was being led to pastor a congregation!  Years later Mike's Mom told us his Dad had the idea Mike might someday be a pastor, but I sure never did.

Anyway, this was not Mike's dream.  It was a very, very difficult decision but he knew he was being called and he answered the call.  I was proud of him for that.  At that time he was looking at 7 more years of schooling, not his favorite thing, but he was willing to go.  We spent another year on the farm before things were in place for us to leave, but the rest is history now, isn't it?  

There you have it.  As promised, the story of someone else letting God have control of his life.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Giving Up Control

One thing that is hard to remember, as a Christian, is that I have given up control of my own future.  In fact, that explains the name of my blog; it is a reminder for me that my life is not my own.  Really, it was only a perceived control in the first place.  Like most people, I like to think I have control over my own life.  Anyone who has ever watched the news knows how quickly that control can be lost.  Illness, natural disasters, wars, etc. can all play a part in destroying an individual's feeling of control.  Those things are not what this post is about, though.

I'm talking about giving away control.  I have given control of my life to God.  This is how I do it, though.  I give God control (yes, I know I'm not really giving anything as he always had control), I try to take back control, I repent, I give God control, I try to take back control, I repent, repeat... repeat... repeat.

I think being an American maybe makes it all even more difficult.  I love living in a country that tells me I have the right to pursue happiness and all that.  I'm grateful that I get to choose where I live, my career path, who  I marry and a myriad of other choices.  As glad as I am to have those choices, though, I am constantly trying to hand it all over to God.

A few years ago I saw this prayer printed in a church bulletin.  I clipped it out and stuck it on our fridge where it has been for years.  I found that it is believed the original version was written by Dr. Martin Luther in the 1500's.


If you are not a Christian you may wonder why anyone would want to give control away.  Well, one reason is because we are told to do so...





Matthew 16:24


Then Jesus said to his disciples, If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.




...but the main reason I choose to give control has to do with trust.  I absolutely trust that God has all wisdom.  I absolutely trust that he will protect me and eventually bring me to himself.  I absolutely trust that he knows better what is important for me in all things.  I absolutely trust that he is God and I am not.

How about you?  Do you have times when you want to give God control but are having trouble letting go?  Do you have times when you know that giving up control has turned out to be a blessing to you?  Tomorrow I am going to tell you a story about someone else giving up control to follow an unexpected path.

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