Friday, March 25, 2011

Chasing My Own Tail

Being new at this, I get all excited when I see my follower numbers rise.  I always check to see who followed and then I try to check out their blog if they have one.  Well, it turns out that I'm apparently getting confused in the middle of my following frenzy because on multiple occasions I've discovered I'm following myself!  How'd my picture get there among my followers? Sometimes I'm following myself twice!  Now that's pretty self-absorbed, don't you think?

Like most people, I think I am pretty self-absorbed.  I don't like it and I don't want it to be so, but there it is.  I realize this is a survival thing; I need to be self-absorbed enough to notice when I am hungry, wounded, cold, etc.  That ensures that I'll take care of my basic needs and keep myself alive and well.  However, I think I worry too much about whether my clothing or hair looks appropriate, whether I've said something dumb or embarrassing (OK, we all know that ship sailed long ago), or if people like me.  I think about where I'd like to go for a vacation, what I'd like to have for supper, what song I want to hear on the radio...I think more about myself than others, no matter how I hard I try to do otherwise.  Sure, I may do something thoughtful for someone else, but I quickly return to thinking about me.  Are you like that?  Please tell me it is not just me!

Actually, the more I think about it, how can a person NOT be self-absorbed?  I mean, really, I'm inside my own head, day in and day out.  How can I ignore myself?  Hmmmm...I never thought of it that way. 

At any rate, I think I've crossed a line somewhere when I "follow" my own blog.  I've managed to remove myself several times but sometimes it just doesn't work and I'm stuck there, my face among my own followers.   It's embarrassing but probably speaks a truth.  I'm sure I'm more concerned about my own blog than anyone else could be.

So there you have it...I'm following myself...it's dizzying!

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