Two of my friends are leading a Bible Study at our church. It is a short (6 week) course. I purchased the book and said I would be a part of the class but knew I would miss the first class as it began the week we were in Arizona. Well, it turned out the second class was on an evening when I had a another meeting. The third week? I got sick and couldn't go.
Last night I FINALLY attended the class and I rather enjoyed it, even if I didn't much know what was going on. The class is based on a lecture study by Beth Moore.
Beth Moore has a way of looking at scripture, pointing out things that I maybe would have read over without much thought. Reading from Deuteronomy 26 she was pointing out one such event. Oh, I forgot to explain that we watch a video of Beth Moore going over the lesson for probably the first hour of class. OK, so she was pointing out how the Israelites would recite the story of their Jewish history, particularly their escape from slavery. She said it may have been their most treasured memory.
Beth Moore asked the question, "What is your most treasured memory?"
I started pondering all the possibilities. The birth of our children came to mind. Maybe it was a special time with Mike. Perhaps my most treasured memory is a childhood memory with my Mom.
A story of slavery and a scary escape would not necessarily be a happy memory. Beth pointed out that our most treasured memory may not be a happy memory either. Her thought is that your most treasury memory is the one you cling to, the one that defines who you are in this life. She said it may be a very horrible thing but you are treasuring it if you cling to that memory and give a lot of energy to it.
I don't think I exactly have something like that, but I maybe once did. I thought of something that really hurt me. I had someone who should have protected my childhood but tarnished that role. I had quite a few years in my life where I kept the hurt from my disappointment in my treasure box. I thought about it all the time. I took it out during quiet moments and cried over it. When I wanted to feel sorry for myself that memory became the tool I used to open up wounds. In a perverse way, I was treasuring it.
I won't be sharing much more about that. Don't worry about me. I have shared it with plenty of people. Mike helped me a lot through those years. I no longer feel wounded by it and I don't have a need to talk about it on my blog. I only bring it up now, because maybe someone reading this blog knows what that is like. Maybe someone else is now realizing they've been treasuring something unworthy of that kind of dedication. I guess I just want to encourage you to let it go. If you can't do it on your own, please seek assistance. I'm not a professional in such matters but maybe the first thing is to simply limit the amount of time you spend thinking about that which hurts you. Put that treasured memory up and take some of your lovely memories down from the shelf. Define yourself by the worthy memories, rather than the unworthy.