Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Cheat Cleaning Tips...or Not!

Jumping into my car this morning, heading out to pick up a friend, I realized that once again I'd not used my free time to clean out my car.   It had dog hair, mud, pebbles, cracker crumbs, fruit loops and lots of interesting things such as a broken magnet from the back of an old name tag, one mitten, a deflated mask that was intended for giving mouth to mouth rescucitation, bobby pins, band-aids... you get the idea.  I didn't really have time to do anything about it, but I had a great idea.  I had a clip-on smelly thing from Bath and Body.  I clipped it on the strap anchoring Cordelia's carseat and smiled with approval as my car soon SMELLED clean.  The mess in my car was barely noticeable because the smell was so delightful.

I was trained young to cheat-clean.  I remember being at the home of one of my aunts when she received a call that someone was on their way to visit her.  She set to work hiding any mess.  The tactic that most impressed me was when she stuffed her dirty dishes into her oven.  Wa-La... a clean kitchen!  I thought she was quite clever!  Perhaps that could lead to disaster if later you decide to preheat your oven, forgetting your Tupperware is hiding there.

Another one of my own inventions is to pour bleach into the toilet bowl.  Again, the smell of clean gives the illusion of clean.  Maybe?  Anyway, I like to do that before we leave for vacation.  When we return, it almost fools even me into believing the house was just scrubbed.  By the way, someone told me this was dangerous because if a person were to urinate into the bleach mixture it could produce a gas that could make said person pass out.  Could that be true?  It is also a bad idea if you have pets in the house that could lift the lid.  Maybe I'd better just scrub the stupid toilet for real, flush and move on.

By the time I picked up my friend this morning, my car's interior was really, really perfumed.  In fact, it nearly brought tears to our eyes!  I got a little bit of a headache.   She coughed and sputtered...ok that part isn't true.  She did, however, mention that the smell was a bit strong.  Maybe that plan wasn't so good after all.

You'll be pleased to know that tonight I came home and cleaned my car.  I mean I REALLY cleaned it.  I didn't even save any of the spilled sunflowers seeds, ignoring my concern that if we were to get stranded we'd be sorry they were gone. 

I did hold on to the little clippy deal.  I hid it in the console, though, to reduce the potency of it.  If I have to haul a stinky dog or something though, I can wave it around for quick relief.  

Anyone else want to confess some of their cheat-clean methods?

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