Best of... Only The Manager

You know how musicians put out their "best of..." albums? I decided that I want to do some of those for my blog. When I go back and read through a lot of my posts I think they sound kind of dumb. I may even feel a bit embarrassed by them. However, there are a few that I think are worth repeating. Maybe I was better tapped into a higher wisdom those days. I don't know. Sometimes I just think I happen upon a topic that is worth a rerun. The following is one such rerun...

 Edify, this is a very important word to me.  It goes through my head a lot.  Sometimes it really annoys me.

(from firstcal.org)

The definition of edify includes "to build up, to construct, to strengthen a person" as well as "to inform or enlighten intellectually or spiritually." (from dictionary.reference.com)  When I consider if something is edifying or not, I ask myself if any good can come from it.

I suppose you wonder why such a nice word can be annoying.  Well, sometimes I just want to say stuff, whatever I'm thinking.  It may be something that would classify as gossip or it may be something just a little bit mean.  Why do I want to say things like that?  I don't know, but sometimes I just do.   I'm not proud of it but there it is.  It may be something like, "Hey, have you gained weight?" or "Did you hear that so-and-so cheated on his wife?"  It is even possible to SOUND sweet when you say it.

(from Kerripom.com)

Also, if you say "bless her heart" after such a comment, it's ok, right?

WRONG.  WRONG.  WRONG.

Usually the word "edify" comes to mind when I take time to think before I speak.  I'm guessing the Holy Spirit is responsible for that.  I'll have these little brakes screeching in my head and I find myself thinking, against my will, "Is this edifying?"  Rats!  I am usually, but not always, able to stop myself from blabbering out the non-edifying thoughts.

On the flip side, sometimes I find myself thinking edifying thoughts about someone but don't make the effort to share those thoughts with them.  I'm trying to notice when I DO have an edifying thought so that I may pass it on.  Even that can be difficult.  Maybe they will think I am a weirdo.  What if they think I am trying to butter them up or think I am being phoney?

I have to say, though, I've yet to get a bad reaction when I pass on an edifying thought to someone.  It might be one-on-one or it might be saying something edifying in front of a group, but it needs to be said.  This world can be dark and scarey, but we are called to be bright lights of hope, letting Jesus shine from the inside out.  We are to encourage and build-up others.

(from Centralaz.com)



                    Maybe striving for an attitude of edification is where it all starts.

                                   This is a link to a post on a blog I enjoy.
          http://loveinactionjourney.blogspot.com/2011/06/speaking-up-loud-clear.html
            Janine elegantly writes on this subject.  You could say it is an edifying post.

So, now you know about being edifying.  Now you know why sometimes I look like I have a little struggle going on in my head as I am questioning myself, "Will this be edifying in any way?"  What are your thoughts on the subject?  Does edification come easily to you?  Tell me about ways you've found you can be edifying.

On Guard

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I just thought you might want to see a different view of my new haircut.

OK, now on to my problem of the week... gossip! I'm talking about those sneaky little situations that pop up and catch you off guard. 

I bet that any of you who have ever worked in a place with a lot of other employees, or maybe with just one other employee, have found yourself standing in the midst of turmoil.  You know what I am talking about, don't you? One person leaves the room and the others start talking about them. It usually is not talk wrapped in kindness. I hate that! I hate it even more if I realize it came out of my own mouth!

The thing I hate most about this is that it is soooooo easy to get sucked into the conversation! I want to be ON GUARD for this. I don't want to even give the appearance of confirming the mean things people say about each other. It is hard to do, though! It is easy to forget who I want to me in such a situation. It takes almost no effort to just ride along with the conversation. It is wrong, though.

I'm trying to prepare myself for such moments. Maybe then I will remember to say helpful words. I have decided that it is usually our own low self-esteem that makes it so tempting to bring others down. That really complicates the whole situation. How do you stop a gossipy situation from progressing without making others feel reprimanded or further demeaned themselves?

I am trying to come up with some set responses, things I have in my head and can access easily in the heat of the moment. Do any of you do this? Do you have any great ideas for me? I really think it is possible to do this and to get others to follow a more positive track in a discussion!

So, give me some ideas. If someone is saying snippy things about Mary Louse (I don't really know any Mary Louises) can I just interject something positive about her, such as "Mary Louise did a nice job cleaning off the desk this morning." ? In the moment I may not come up quickly with something positive that is unique to the situation or person. How about, "We all struggle with that sometimes, don't we?" That may work for a more wide variety of conversations.

I need some help here, people! Please give me some more one-liners that I can tuck into my little head. I want to have encouraging, kind and positive ways to do this. Give me some ideas!

While I wait for your responses, I'm going to memorize the following verse. It was in my daily e-mail message from KLOVE today and it really fits into what I've been needing lately.

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.

~ 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, NLT

Edify!

Edify, this is a very important word to me.  It goes through my head a lot.  Sometimes it really annoys me.

(from firstcal.org)

The definition of edify includes "to build up, to construct, to strengthen a person" as well as "to inform or enlighten intellectually or spiritually." (from dictionary.reference.com)  When I consider if something is edifying or not, I ask myself if any good can come from it.

I suppose you wonder why such a nice word can be annoying.  Well, sometimes I just want to say stuff, whatever I'm thinking.  It may be something that would classify as gossip or it may be something just a little bit mean.  Why do I want to say things like that?  I don't know, but sometimes I just do.   I'm not proud of it but there it is.  It may be something like, "Hey, have you gained weight?" or "Did you hear that so-and-so cheated on his wife?"  It is even possible to SOUND sweet when you say it.

(from Kerripom.com)

Also, if you say "bless her heart" after such a comment, it's ok, right?

WRONG.  WRONG.  WRONG.

Usually the word "edify" comes to mind when I take time to think before I speak.  I'm guessing the Holy Spirit is responsible for that.  I'll have these little brakes screeching in my head and I find myself thinking, against my will, "Is this edifying?"  Rats!  I am usually, but not always, able to stop myself from blabbering out the non-edifying thoughts. 

On the flip side, sometimes I find myself thinking edifying thoughts about someone but don't make the effort to share those thoughts with them.  I'm trying to notice when I DO have an edifying thought so that I may pass it on.  Even that can be difficult.  Maybe they will think I am a weirdo.  What if they think I am trying to butter them up or think I am being phoney? 

I have to say, though, I've yet to get a bad reaction when I pass on an edifying thought to someone.  It might be one-on-one or it might be saying something edifying in front of a group, but it needs to be said.  This world can be dark and scarey, but we are called to be bright lights of hope, letting Jesus shine from the inside out.  We are to encourage and build-up others.

(from Centralaz.com)



                    Maybe striving for an attitude of edification is where it all starts.

                                   This is a link to a post on a blog I enjoy.
          http://loveinactionjourney.blogspot.com/2011/06/speaking-up-loud-clear.html 
            Janine elegantly writes on this subject.  You could say it is an edifying post. 

So, now you know about being edifying.  Now you know why sometimes I look like I have a little struggle going on in my head as I am questioning myself, "Will this be edifying in any way?"  What are your thoughts on the subject?  Does edification come easily to you?  Tell me about ways you've found you can be edifying.

Women Supporting Women

Two things happened yesterday.  Both involved the interactions of women and it made me ponder the power we have with our most simple actions and words.

I received a phone call from a friend, always a nice thing.  We worked together at my last job and I so appreciate that she keeps in touch.  We had a nice conversation.  However, she did tell me that another woman had mentioned my name, blaming me for a problem she had caused herself.  It was just one sentence but it really caused a flood of negative emotions in me!  I wanted to do something!  I wanted to write the woman a strong letter!  I stewed about it for an hour or so.  Why would she do this?  What had I done to make her want to make me look bad?  Who else was she talking to?  Were people believing her lie?  I am sorry to say that I allowed this news to really sour my afternoon.

Then.... I went to Bible Study.

What a contrast!

Our little group had decided we wanted to offer encouragement to someone.  So, as a group, we decided to offer encouragement and support to a woman locally that we knew was under a lot of stress.  Most of us didn't really know this woman but she is an administrator of a healthcare facility that has been having a lot of problems lately.  We knew that she probably felt she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders right now.  In fact, we ended up deciding to spread the love and we are planning small ways to support not only her, but two other women who work with her.  We enjoyed talking about the little things we could do to let them know we are supporting them, without judgment...women supporting women.  Even just the planning made us feel good.

As I'm thinking about this I'm remembering other times when just a few words changed someone's outlook, if even only for a few minutes.  We have so much power! 

I watched a pharmacy clerk yesterday as she was preparing my order for me.  I've interacted with her many times before and she's always seemed a bit sad and maybe a little pinched, like she was tasting something bitter.  I'm a little scared of her.  She had a new haircut, though, and I was silently admiring it.  Finally, I decided to just do it, blurt out what I was thinking, "You've got a new hairstyle.  I really think it looks nice."  That's pretty much all I said but you should've seen the change!  Her eyes shot up and she looked right at me.  I don't think she ever did that before!  She smiled!  She tentatively reached her hand to her hair and smiled again.  It was a beautiful transformation to see.

We need to support one another, not discourage.  So, just remember, you have a lot of power!  Please use it wisely and for the good!  ...And use it often.