Thursday, August 30, 2012

Pretending to Be My Age

When I was younger I knew, of course, that there were people of all different ages.  What I didn't understand, though, was that a lot of those people didn't really feel like they belonged in the age category to which they found themselves assigned.

Am I making sense?

Well, here's the thing.  I know in my head that I am now in the middle-aged category.  To be honest, I've been in that category for awhile now.  How did that happen?  You see, I still think of myself as a young mother.  I feel I should be about 32 or so.  I feel like I kind of got mentally or emotionally stuck there.  I feel comfortable there.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not really complaining about being in my 50's.  It's just that I feel like I'm only pretending to be in my 50's, like I'm wearing a costume or something, but inside I'm still 32.  It feels kind of weird to know that people I meet don't realize that.

This happened to me when I was 14 as well.  Someone asked me how old I was and I blurted out that I was 12.  I was horrified at my mistake.  What 14 year old wants to be 12?  Well, I think I liked being 12.  I felt comfortable being 12 for several years.

I was thinking about all this and remembered something I read a long time ago.  I read that inside every person is that person from every age they'd ever been.  That is, even a middle-aged person still has inside of them the memory of who they were at a younger age and really, they are that person still.  It's kind of true, don't you think?

Next time I look at an elderly person I'm going to be wondering if deep down they feel like an imposter.  Maybe they feel like they are 25 and just pretending to be old since they are stuck wearing an old costume.  Something to think about, right?

Mike and Me in Our Early 30's