I often decide on my post title before I ever write a word of the post. An idea comes to me about what I want to write and so I put the title down and start. The funny thing is, I frequently end up surprised at what my topics really turned out to be. That happened yesterday. My post was just to be about the little kids I taught this week and the fact that most of them gave me a sweet hug as they left class. Somehow, though, I ended up focusing mostly on the kids I taught some years ago in New Mexico. I had to go back and change the title, something about sweet hugs, AFTER I'd already published my post. That is not the first time that has happened!
Those of you who blog, do you experience this as well? It's like the words take on a life of their own and I'm no longer in charge. I started a novel some months ago and I find that I am often surprised by the direction that story takes me. It's kind of fun, almost as though I am reading a book instead of writing it, but it also disconcerting. Shouldn't I be in charge of the things I choose to write?
This post, for example, was to be about the fact that I have an interview today. After I put the title up, though, I decided maybe I shouldn't tell everyone that I have an interview. What if the job isn't offered to me? Won't I be embarrassed to have to tell you all that I wasn't selected for this position that I think I really want? No, I don't want to write about that.
Then I thought maybe I'd blog about why I am in the position of job-hunting in the first place. I could tell you more than you ever wanted to know about an illness that grabbed me last year and shook my life up for months, robbing me of my job, my confidence in my own body, and sometimes even my dignity. No, that seems too heavy. I don't want to do that right now.
So, I really have no idea what I want to talk about today. I guess I will just leave it at that!