Friday, February 07, 2014

Weird Question Number One

Recently I received 10 questions by Mike via text.  He thought maybe they would be questions to spawn some thought-provoking posts for me. He's so helpful, isn't he? The weird thing was, we were sitting side by side in our own living room so I'm not certain why he felt he needed to text the questions to me. Really, though, as you read the questions over the next few days, I think you'll find hints that my husband is not a normal run-of-the-mill kind of a guy.

Mike feels certain that his questions are so fascinating, I need to provide an entire post for each of his clever queries! OK, I will try. I think through this process it will be revealed that I live with a strange and curious man. Here we go with weird question number one.

1. If the U.S. passed a law that allowed people to chew with their mouths open would you move to Canada?

Absolutely! If you are insinuating that all Americans would be chewing with their mouths open, I'd simply have no choice but to leave. Really, it would be comparable to living someplace where you were constantly inundated with the sound of people's fingernails on a chalkboard! Who could deal with that?

On many occasions I have quietly left a room when someone was chewing with their mouth open. It seemed a more acceptable choice than what I really wanted to do. What I really want to do when someone is smacking away on their food with their mouth open is to reach over and pinch their lips together for them! Seriously! Maybe I could just say something like, "Dude, use your lips!" The rule is, once the food is in your mouth, those lips need to come together!

photo from

So, here's the thing...

Did you know that digestion actually begins in the mouth during the chewing process, medically known as mastication? In case you don't commonly use that word, here is the definition:

mastication - chewing, tearing, or grinding food with the teeth while it becomes mixed with saliva

Doesn't that sound rather private to you? I do not think anyone's digestive processes should be on display for others to see or hear, do you? I mean, most of us try to keep digestive sounds to ourselves, right? 

So there you have my answer. Digestion is a private matter, from beginning to end. Let's keep it that way so I don't have to move to Canada. (No offense, Canada!)


Michelle said...

Oh, my, I'll look forward to the next nine questions (and hope you don't have to move to Canada--what if they chew with their mouths open there?).

Anonymous said...

Most all people in the Far East chew with their mouths open: a few hired at our Plant in KC, still chew their food with mouth wide open...Tell them it is not nice to chew with mouth open; they will ignore you...Answer dont watch them eat...

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