Matt Maher - Lord, I Need You

Weird Question Number Nine

I'm winding down with Mike's interview questions...

9. Why did you kick me when I was only trying to help you with your diet? Should I have reported you to the authorities?

With this question Mike is referring to an embarrassing event that occurred when we were first married. You can go here to read about that if you wish. The story is in the last part of that post. Or, if you are in a hurry, here's the short version of that newlywed adventure.

Told Mike I was going on a diet

 he found me eating 

Cheetos 

snatched them away 

I chased after him 

kicked him 

big mistake 

broke my toe 

on his boots

very painful

That's the truth, most of the truth, and nothing but the truth.

So, I think the story itself answers the "why" of kicking him. Anyone would have done the same. Instead of taking my Cheetos away he was SUPPOSED to tell my 20 yr old 120 lb self that I didn't need to lose weight. Oh, he had so much to learn! 

The second part of the question is preposterous! The authorities would have locked him up and thrown away the key on at least two counts:

1) He was clueless about women.

2) Taking someone's Cheetos away is a major, major crime...pretty sure of it.

photo from freedigitalimages.net by sakhorn38

Weird Question Number Eight

I'm telling you, Mike is not a normal interviewer. For instance, here is his 8th question for me...

8. Do you want to be Vanna White or Pat Sajak?

Well, Duh! Vanna, of course. I have several of the usual reasons for that, and one really important reason.

First of all, what's not to like about being slender with an unlimited supply of fancy dresses to wear?

She gets to travel to do their show at different sites. I would enjoy that! I even love hotel rooms, as long as they are clean. It would be rough to have to make those long trips to Hawaii and such places, but I think I could do it.

I would enjoy having Vanna's accent. I don't know anyone who sounds quite like her.

Most of all, though, Vanna gets to play with yarn! A lot! Vanna even has her own line of yarn through Lion's Brand. How cool is that?! I bet she doesn't even get stupid tendonitis when she crochets.

Much to my surprise, there are a bunch of clips on YouTube of Vanna just talking about yarn. OK, it may not be that exciting to most, but I get it. I understand the addiction.



Yea, kind of silly, huh? I would do the same, though. Shopping for yarn is a lovely experience.

Weird Question Number Seven

Mike's next question to me wasn't really a question. He's making fun of my food choices. That isn't very nice, is it?

7. Potato chips and ice cream? Really? 

Yes! Really!

One of my favorite treats is ice cream, but it just seems too sweet. I find that if I eat potato chips with it, my taste buds just dance with delight! I believe my Mom taught me that. Mom's know best!

(photo from the internet...I'd tell you where it originated but I don't know)

Weird Question Number Six

6. Since you are so enamored with your husband is there any chance you would want to start most of your sentences to me with, "How can I serve you oh most great sultan?"

Well, my beloved husband, that is such a ridiculous idea, I am going to ignore it.

Let's look at cute photos of our beautiful granddaughters instead, shall we?

Weird Question Number Five

Mike's fifth weird interview question for me follows.


5. If you got the worst hair cut in the world would you still leave a tip?

The answer to that is, I did and I did.

Weird Question Number Four

The fourth question Mike asked of me was rather pitiful, really...

1. Who is more annoying? Your husband or your loving dog, Bode?

Is that a cry for attention or what!?

I have to tell you what happened just before Mike gave me that question. It was on a day that was well below zero and I had just come home from work. I was tired and I felt chilled to the bone. For reasons I can not recall he squirted me with a squirt gun. It was soooooo cold! I felt instant anger! So, my first reaction is to give him the most-annoying award. But, I decided to think it out a bit more. Here are some thinking points...

Mike doesn't usually chew up the granddaughters toys.

I don't recall that Mike ever strung toilet paper throughout the house.

Mike never chewed up our vertical blinds - twice.

Mike never ate my fabric measuring tape while I sewed.

Both Mike and Bode are likely to steal cupcakes or cookies as they cool on the counter.

Bode always greets me with a favorite toy to give me. Well, actually, Mike did that not long ago. He greeted me with his favorite toy in his mouth.

That was pretty funny, I admit. However, I tried to get him to recreate that moment so that I could capture it on camera for this post. He wouldn't do it. That was annoying. He did, however, try to knock my slippers off my feet. Bode would never do that.

I don't think I'm going to outright answer this question and I have a good reason. OK, do any of you remember Junior High? I'm thinking of that awkward period where boys pull girls hair and such in order to get attention and to show their love. Well, I'm just saying, some men (and dogs) don't really outgrow that phase. I'm not going to name names. I'm just going to say that I feel well-loved.

Weird Question Number Three

Continuing on with the strange interview questions from my own husband...

3.  Do you consider yourself scrappy or flamboyant?

At first I was going to say that I was scrappy because I think I am good at fighting...for happiness that is. What I mean is, I can take a lot of disappointment and still wrap it up into something that makes me happy. I think I am skilled at that.

On the other hand, the only time I had someone ask me to "step outside" (no kidding! a NURSE from my past was mad at me for questioning her judgment and wanted to take it out to the parking lot!) I blurted out, "NO! You would beat me up!" So, I guess I won't get any scrappy nominations.




All right, I will go with flamboyant. I'm making this statement solely on my use of color. I often buy clothes for our granddaughters that I wish came in my size.



I like color! Usually, I do NOT dress the way my heart wants me to dress or you'd see things like orange and hot pink paisley swirls or maybe lime green and yellow checks. How about bright red and purple stripes?



Yes, I am definitely flamboyant, at least on the inside.

Weird Question Number Two

In case you missed yesterday's post, my wonderfully weird husband texted me 10 odd questions as his way of interviewing me for my own blog. Additionally, he suggested the questions are so good, they each deserved their own post. 

Well, I love him so I am giving it a go. Here's today's thought-provoking question.

1. Do you consider yourself groovy or far out?

Well, both of those labels are rather a flash back in time, don't you think? Hmmmm... As I pondered this, I thought maybe I should take my own trip back in time to help me make the choice.  I looked through old photographs, hoping for any hint of groovy or far out qualities in myself.

My Mom took this photo of me. I was 19 years old, probably at my peak of groovy.

 Oh, but then there is this one.

I look pretty back-to-nature here, surrounded by mountains and trees and all.

John Denver himself would have declared

I was far-out!

 But here's the tie-breaker.

Or is it?

Actually, I kind of have a  Beverly Hillbilly look going on.

Hmmmm.....

I think my groovy, far out days are so far gone, I really can't answer Mike's original question so I'm going to change the question to this...

Are you a little bit country or a little bit rock-n-roll?

Country. Definitely Country.

Weird Question Number One

Recently I received 10 questions by Mike via text.  He thought maybe they would be questions to spawn some thought-provoking posts for me. He's so helpful, isn't he? The weird thing was, we were sitting side by side in our own living room so I'm not certain why he felt he needed to text the questions to me. Really, though, as you read the questions over the next few days, I think you'll find hints that my husband is not a normal run-of-the-mill kind of a guy.

Mike feels certain that his questions are so fascinating, I need to provide an entire post for each of his clever queries! OK, I will try. I think through this process it will be revealed that I live with a strange and curious man. Here we go with weird question number one.

1. If the U.S. passed a law that allowed people to chew with their mouths open would you move to Canada?

Absolutely! If you are insinuating that all Americans would be chewing with their mouths open, I'd simply have no choice but to leave. Really, it would be comparable to living someplace where you were constantly inundated with the sound of people's fingernails on a chalkboard! Who could deal with that?

On many occasions I have quietly left a room when someone was chewing with their mouth open. It seemed a more acceptable choice than what I really wanted to do. What I really want to do when someone is smacking away on their food with their mouth open is to reach over and pinch their lips together for them! Seriously! Maybe I could just say something like, "Dude, use your lips!" The rule is, once the food is in your mouth, those lips need to come together!

photo from allisalleyway.blogspot.com

So, here's the thing...

Did you know that digestion actually begins in the mouth during the chewing process, medically known as mastication? In case you don't commonly use that word, here is the definition:

mastication - chewing, tearing, or grinding food with the teeth while it becomes mixed with saliva

Doesn't that sound rather private to you? I do not think anyone's digestive processes should be on display for others to see or hear, do you? I mean, most of us try to keep digestive sounds to ourselves, right? 

So there you have my answer. Digestion is a private matter, from beginning to end. Let's keep it that way so I don't have to move to Canada. (No offense, Canada!)

Frigid Beauty

Slick

Smooth

Stunning

 Crystal  

Calm

Clear

C O L D

Jangely Jewelry

Looking though my recent photos I realized I'd left another loose end out there. Remember the day I said I was going to make some jewelry? I'm kind of going through a jangely necklace stage so here's what I came up with...

I kind of like how it turned out so I think you'll

be seeing it at Wyoming Rose Boutique soon.

Dueling Sermons

Mike puts a lot of work and creativity into his sermons. One of the things he does is to have photos on the big screen that help solidify his points. A lot of times they are funny. Our church secretary helps find some really great photos. She prepares the slides to go along with the sermon. Once it is all set, it is not something that is easily changed at the last minute.

Recently, I was asked to do our children's sermon at work. All the kids are invited down front and a little lesson is given. It is nice if it kind of goes along with Mike's sermon so I asked Mike what he would be preaching about. He told me it would be on the 10 Commandments. That's all I asked and that is all he told me.

I prepared my sermon for the kids without telling Mike about it. The children's sermon comes shortly before the regular sermon. Here's what I did.  I discussed rules I didn't like when I was young (no jumping on the bed), rules that are useful for safety (speed limits) and silly rules. For the silly rules I went online to a site that listed some ridiculous laws. I chose the ones that I thought kids would enjoy. 

In Baltimore, Maryland it is illegal to take a lion to the movies. In Kentucky it is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket. In New York a man cannot be seen in public while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. Those were enjoyable. One of my favorites... In Oklahoma it is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7:00 p.m. How did that come about?!

I then moved the discussion on to some of the 10 Commandments that ARE important. We are to honor our parents, refrain from stealing and we are not to use God's name as a swear word. It went well. All good points I think. Of course, I ended by telling them I didn't find any rules that stated kids couldn't eat candy at church. I handed out Smarties and all was well. 

THEN...

It was time for Mike's sermon. Guess what?! We'd had the same idea and EVEN WENT TO THE SAME WEBSITE FOR OUR SILLY LAWS!  Mike couldn't just change his sermon as the slide show was already in place. Poor guy! I stole his best lines! He had the great photos, though.

I felt bad at first. I would not have intentionally done anything to lesson his sermon points. Maybe I didn't, though. Maybe it just helped reinforce. It was kind of funny, though, don't you think?

SUE-per Bowl Party!

Yesterday was my birthday. I thought it was cool that people all over the nation held little parties and named them after me... get it? SUE-per Bowl Parties! That's what my son, Ben, told me those parties were for. Oddly, no one invited me, but still...

At church yesterday a lady brought a big helium balloon for my birthday. It was tied around my chair where I sit at the front of the church with the Worship Team. So much for flying under the radar for this birthday!

By the time we got home from church it was apparent that Mike was not well. Sam had been sick the night before. We decided it was better if the little granddaughters didn't come over and catch anything so I went to them. I also knew all the guys would rather be watching the game.

Even with this last minute change of plans, Maria had already decorated for me when I got there. She and I and the girls had our own little party. We didn't even have to listen to a football game.

 I felt special!

I received a delightful array of gifts, many for project "Happy Room".

 I received one of Eric's prints, one I'd been hoping for!

 Cordelia gave me art work as well.

Even Elise gave me a pretty framed drawing of her and me together.

So precious!

 The cupcakes were delicious and featured my favorite color.

Elise enjoyed the cupcakes.

When she was done she said, "Mess."

Interference by sickness and the Superbowl did not ruin my day.

I got to communicate with my Mom,

all my children, 

my granddaughters, many friends 

and my siblings.

I felt very loved.

I am blessed to have people 

in my life who know

how to love well.

A Girl's Message To All Christians

My Weird TENDONcies

I have a weird tendency toward enjoying monotony. Crocheting is rather monotonous, doing the same or similar stitches over and over. One thing I enjoy about monotonous tasks is that I can feel productive but my mind can wander wherever. I can listen to books, watch Netflex, visit with people...whatever. 

However, monotony has a TENDONcy to cause me problems. I think that is just sad. Not many people enjoy the beauty of monotony as much as do I. Why oh why does it have to turn on me like that?

Nope, I didn't misspell tendency. I am literally talking about my tendons. You can already tell that this is going to be a fascinating post, can't you? Everyone wants to know more about my tendons, don't they? Well, maybe it can be educational. Maybe you also have had some weird tendoncies. 

I don't think I can remember all the tendon injuries I have developed over the years, affecting my elbow, ankles, foot and wrists.  Almost always, though, they are embarrassing and make me feel elderly. There's nothing quite like hearing a neurosurgeon, after having just done your exam, chuckling down the hall as he tells his assistant that he has a lady in there who developed lateral epicondylitis (tennis elbow) from CROCHETING.  OK, it was pretty funny. You can read about that one here. 

With my new job, I've been doing a lot of handwriting as I document people's answers to my health questions. We are about to go to electronic forms, just in the nick of time for me. Here's why I say that... Monday morning of this past week I woke up and before I even got out of bed I knew something was weird. My thumb didn't work right as I tried to move the blankets off myself. I was able to bend it and unbend it, although it took a bit of effort. The weird thing was, it didn't move smoothly, it "popped" open. It was so interesting, I made the motion quite a few times (20?) just to marvel at the oddness of it all. I can't say it felt very good, but it was most definitely interesting. It felt a bit like it was dislocating, but not that painful. Soon, it worked itself out and was normal the rest of the day. 

As it turns out, my thumb does that weird trick every morning now. In fact, it has become worse and hurts now down into my wrist. It isn't that painful but just a bit noticeable. Well, I'm a nurse. I work at a surgical center where trigger finger release surgeries are done. I know what is going on here. I've had patients come in with a thumb or finger stuck in a bent position. It isn't really an attractive look. I don't think I need that! Since it is my thumb, I'm thinking it would be hard to start IV's or to even hold a pen if I let it get worse. 

So, what to do? What to do? I suppose some would make an appointment with one of those doctors I know who are experts in this kind of injury.  Instead, I went to Mayo Clinic (via the internet) and read about stenosing tenosynovitis aka trigger finger. Yep, that's it! Diagnosis complete for a cost of $0. (Disclaimer: Nurses do NOT diagnose medical ailments...unless it is their own ailment.)

From what I read, especially since this has not gone on for very long, I may be able to stop the progression, maybe even heal completely. Splinting and resting it is the first step. I went online to see what is available to splint this condition. I found big ugly splints  that would do the job but not much of a fashion statement, now is it? Then, I found a pretty splint! I'm not kidding. It looks like cool jewelry. I knew that everyone would want one if they saw how pretty it was. I wouldn't  have to admit that I had a tendon problem... yet again. Here, take a look at it. Yea, nice. The price, although way cheaper than surgery, seemed a bit high for this minor injury.

But wait! I had a flashback! When I was in high school and playing basketball, I often hurt my fingers, a direct result of my inability to ever figure out how big the basketball really is. When it was thrown to me I often had my hands a smidge too close together, resulting in my fingers getting hurt. As we lived a very, very long way from a drugstore and Amazon.com was years away, we learned a cheap method of splinting. All we needed was tape and a plastic utensil. We would just break the plastic spoon, knife or whatever. Place it over the joint that needs to be immobilized and tape it in place.  It helps to cushion it with gauze (or kleenex). 

I actually got as far as breaking the plastic knife this morning before I came to my senses. I suddenly realized that I no longer live in Turner, MT and I have a wide choice of nearby drugstores.  Maybe I will go buy one of those ugly splints after all.

How about you? Do your tendons get cranky sometimes as well? Have you ever had trigger finger (or thumb) problems? Any advice?

"Happy Room" Update

Do you remember this? My cousin asked me to show a picture of the weird wreath I made. I finally remembered! That cartoon was one about a potato who (that?) went to the doctor for lab results. He was told his triglycerides and cholesterol were good, but that his carbohydrates were really high.

The day before I had this highly sophisticated and clever little one up there.

I try to change up the style daily. Sometimes it is medical humor, sometimes kid humor.

It is always clean humor,

never mean humor.

Well, I am happy to report that I think it is working well.

I've had several folks tell me they come by every day just to read the joke for that day.

My door is usually closed most of the way but 

I often hear footsteps stop by my door,

followed by chuckling.

That makes me very happy.

Hold On To Your Earrings!

Tonight, on the way home from work, I stopped at the grocery store for a couple of items. When I got out of my car I was stunned by the power of the wind! It was crazy! I could FEEL my earrings trying to sail off without me! We've lived here for 10 years and I am still amazed by the freakishly wild Wyoming winds.

My earrings came from my Grandma Rose, very precious to me. So, I had to do the man-with-a-hat-walk. Do you know what I mean? It is that walk that men do when they are wearing hats that want to blow off. I know I've seen Mike do that walk so I knew how to handle it. I turned a bit sideways and tipped the crown of my head into the wind. That way, the direction of the wind encouraged the earrings to stay in their piercings rather than rip out of my ears.

Anyway, I made it without loss of earrings. See? They are pretty, aren't they?

After I left the grocery store I saw a flashing sign that the highway department had set up. It was warning of 70 mph wind gusts! Good grief! Oh well. Me and my Grandma Rose earrings are safely home and still intact. 

Bode Love

Bode is so aggravating as he steals muffins off the counter, knocks granddaughters over with his enthusiasm and poops in the flowerbed. However, he is always, always thrilled to see me and greets me by gifting me with one of his favorite toys. There is something to be said for that.

This is Something I Can't Understand

Yesterday I came home from church and turned on the television to learn that Marlise Munoz had been disconnected from life support. She is the woman in Texas who was brain dead but pregnant. Her baby was at 23 weeks gestation. I tried but could not find out if it was a little girl or a little boy.

I just sat down and cried, tears pouring down my cheeks. I couldn't stop thinking about the baby within her who likely struggled as it was deprived of oxygen. I hope he/she didn't suffer long. I cried because while a father is expected to protect his children, the courts ruled that the father in this case had the right to end his or her life this week-end. I can't understand this.

In a way, I think the father in this case is a victim himself. He is the product a society that has taught him that a baby is not a real life unless the parents say so. I know that he has suffered a great loss, already. I expect his emotional suffering is going to last a lifetime and I don't want to be judgmental. I just can't understand this.

I realize this case is not common. I doubt that Marlise ever put much thought into whether she'd want to be on life support if it would save her baby. Her family could not have been well prepared for the kind of decisions before them. There was nothing but pain and suffering in this whole scenario...that is, nothing except that new little life that was trying to survive. I really can't understand this.

Probably as a way of comforting myself, I went to LifeNews.com for some inspiration. I admit, I was looking for like minds. I was not disappointed. There, I found people who valued the unborn and were willing to speak out on the behalf of the weak. There I found people willing to go against the flow in order to protect those fragile lives. Maybe you will enjoy this quick clip as well.

It gives me hope.