Retro Post... Life Interrupted

It is my birthday! Happy day to me!

I am continuing my self-indulgent trip back in time, posting reruns. In commemorating 4 years of blogging, I want to go back and pluck out some of the posts I enjoy most. This post explained a bit more about how I came up with the name for my blog. I wrote this in February 2011.

My Life Was Interrupted

I am attending a Women's Bible Study at our church.  We are about to complete our study of Jonah by Pricilla Shirer.  It is not the first time I've studied Jonah.  It seems each time I go through  it I get something new from it.  Pricilla started right off talking about how Jonah's life was interrupted.  That caught my attention in a personal way...

My life was whirling along just as I'd planned in early 2010.  I was working as an oncology nurse and absolutely loved what I did.  Yes, it was hard and stressful at times but I found such satisfaction working with these people.  I was up close and personal with people who were often discovering they were able to draw upon a strength they previously hadn't even acknowledged.  It was beautiful.

Then, early last year I got sick.  That's not supposed to happen!  I am a caretaker!  I was treated.  I got better.  I got sick.  I was treated.  I got better.  I got sick.  I went to the hospital.  I was treated for a long, long time.  I got a bit better.  I got sick again.  You get the idea.  Each time I got better, I returned to work.  Finally, it became apparent that I needed to give up the job I loved, at least for now.

MY LIFE WAS INTERRUPTED!

So, what now?  Maria (my daughter) and I came up with a plan to build on a little home business idea.  I'd made and sold a few pieces of jewelry before but was always too busy to really do much.  But now, we've made all sorts of things!  We've had a lot of fun and I've really enjoyed being creative.  It's been such a joy to be with Maria and Cordelia (grandaughter) so much.  There are many good things about it but I still fretted that I needed to get back to taking care of patients.  I thought that was my calling!

Through this study I've felt myself becoming more relaxed about the changes.  One of the things that bothered me was that being an oncology nurse felt like a ministry to me. I felt it was God's plan for me.  Well, it was, but maybe not forever...or maybe not again for just awhile.  Now, I realize that it doesn't have to make sense to me, but it is important that I just trust God to lead me to what his plan is for me.  It's humbling and it has been a bit hard on my ego, but it has been a growing experience for me for sure!  I don't know where it's going from here, but I know who is in charge!

The title of this blog, Only The Manager, is a result of this study and my life's interruptions.  God is the owner of my life, I am only the manager.

I bet you've had interruptions as well.  I'd like to hear about them. (That sounds strange to write since I have only 1 follower right now, but who knows?)

Life's Interruptions

I have a big day coming up! 

I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet, but I will. 

In the meantime, I refer you to one of my early posts. In it I explained a bit more about how I came to name this blog what I did.  Click here for that post from February 2011.

A Woman's Heart

Last night we started a new Lady's Bible Study at our church. We are doing A Woman's Heart by Beth Moore of LifeWay. I've mentioned her studies before. We have a workbook, complete with homework, and watch a video presentation as well. It is always interesting and I enjoy the women who attend. There are women I know from our congregation as well as women from other congregations. It's really quite lovely.

Since last night was our first lesson, the video was really more of an introduction. We started out reading some passages from Exodus 25 as this study is about the Tabernacle. That sounded like kind of a boring theme at first but the Tabernacle is mentioned more than 100 times from the Old Testament through the New Testament. It must be important.

In my notes from last night I wrote this quote, "He came to us so that we can come to him." It was referred to as the theme of the Bible. I guess that is true in many ways, really. We couldn't come to God by ourselves; He initiated it. I don't always understand why we are so important to him. We mess up so much from a personal level to a global level. Yet, he does love us and wants us to be close to him. Amazing.

Are you doing any Bible Studies right now? Do you prefer to study alone or does a group help motivate you?

What is Your Most Treasured Memory?

Two of my friends are leading a Bible Study at our church. It is a short (6 week) course. I purchased the book and said I would be a part of the class but knew I would miss the first class as it began the week we were in Arizona. Well, it turned out the second class was on an evening when I had a another meeting. The third week? I got sick and couldn't go.

Last night I FINALLY attended the class and I rather enjoyed it, even if I didn't much know what was going on. The class is based on a lecture study by Beth Moore.

Beth Moore has a way of looking at scripture, pointing out things that I maybe would have read over without much thought. Reading from Deuteronomy 26 she was pointing out one such event. Oh, I forgot to explain that we watch a video of Beth Moore going over the lesson for probably the first hour of class.  OK, so she was pointing out how the Israelites would recite the story of their Jewish history, particularly their escape from slavery. She said it may have been their most treasured memory. 

Beth Moore asked the question, "What is your most treasured memory?"

I started pondering all the possibilities. The birth of our children came to mind. Maybe it was a special time with Mike. Perhaps my most treasured memory is a childhood memory with my Mom.

A story of slavery and a scary escape would not necessarily be a happy memory. Beth pointed out that our most treasured memory may not be a happy memory either. Her thought is that your most treasury memory is the one you cling to, the one that defines who you are in this life. She said it may be a very horrible thing but you are treasuring it if you cling to that memory and give a lot of energy to it.

I don't think I exactly have something like that, but I maybe once did. I thought of something that really hurt me. I had someone who should have protected my childhood but tarnished that role. I had quite a few years in my life where I kept the hurt from my disappointment in my treasure box. I thought about it all the time. I took it out during quiet moments and cried over it. When I wanted to feel sorry for myself that memory became the tool I used to open up wounds. In a perverse way, I was treasuring it.

I won't be sharing much more about that. Don't worry about me. I have shared it with plenty of people. Mike helped me a lot through those years. I no longer feel wounded by it and I don't have a need to talk about it on my blog. I only bring it up now, because maybe someone reading this blog knows what that is like. Maybe someone else is now realizing they've been treasuring something unworthy of that kind of dedication. I guess I just want to encourage you to let it go. If you can't do it on your own, please seek assistance. I'm not a professional in such matters but maybe the first thing is to simply limit the amount of time you spend thinking about that which hurts you. Put that treasured memory up and take some of your lovely memories down from the shelf. Define yourself by the worthy memories, rather than the unworthy. 

Breaking Free

I love back-to-school sales!

All the new notebooks, pens, glue and stuff... just makes me happy.

Does anyone else feel that way?

There is just so much POTENTIAL in a new notebook!

When Mike reads this he's going to have a different reaction.

The mention of back-to-school sales makes him feel a bit queasy.

The same happens to Sam.

I just don't get it!

For me, it is hard to pass those sales now that we have no children going to school.

Well, Sam is going to college but it is not the same.

Most of his assignments are handled electronically now.

Just when I thought I was totally on the outside looking in, I have need of a pen.

We just started a new Bible Study at our church this week.

It is a Beth Moore Bible Study presented by Lifeway that is called,

 "Breaking Free".

Have any of you previously attended a Beth Moore Study?

Part of our evening is spent as we watch a video of her presenting the study

 to a group of women.

  For those of you who have not experienced her, try thinking of a cross between

Billy Graham and Carol Burnette.

No, No, silly, I don't mean in looks!

Beth Moore is quite lovely, but her personality is kind of a mix of those two, with a lot of "Southern" thrown in.

She's very Bible-based and can really speak a serious word, but she is also quite funny.

It makes for an informative and fun video to watch.

Most important, though, is that we also have WORKBOOKS and HOMEWORK!

Yippee!

Of course in class I kind of groan and act like the homework will be annoying.

But deep down I am loving it.

I have not one but FOUR pens in the pocket of my Bible.

One is orange (thank-you Michele).

Yes, that's a lot of pens.

It makes me  happy,

especially the orange one.

Even the first night of introduction I picked up some nice little tidbits.

My favorite quote from this workbook so far,

"A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for her."

Another quote, from the video part of the lesson,

"Christ's disciples are meant to be profoundly effective."

WOW!

Those are words to ponder!

So, things like insecurity or anger can hold us in bondage.

What other things do you think can put us into bondage and keep

us from being the most effective version of ourselves?

And "profoundly effective"? 

Do any of you feel profoundly effective?

My Life Was Interrupted

I am attending a Women's Bible Study at our church.  We are about to complete our study of Jonah by Pricilla Shirer.  It is not the first time I've studied Jonah.  It seems each time I go through  it I get something new from it.  Pricilla started right off talking about how Jonah's life was interrupted.  That caught my attention in a personal way...

My life was whirling along just as I'd planned in early 2010.  I was working as an oncology nurse and absolutely loved what I did.  Yes, it was hard and stressful at times but I found such satisfaction working with these people.  I was up close and personal with people who were often discovering they were able to draw upon a strength they previously hadn't even acknowledged.  It was beautiful.

Then, early last year I got sick.  That's not supposed to happen!  I am a caretaker!  I was treated.  I got better.  I got sick.  I was treated.  I got better.  I got sick.  I went to the hospital.  I was treated for a long, long time.  I got a bit better.  I got sick again.  You get the idea.  Each time I got better, I returned to work.  Finally, it became apparent that I needed to give up the job I loved, at least for now.

MY LIFE WAS INTERRUPTED! 

So, what now?  Maria (my daughter) and I came up with a plan to build on a little home business idea.  I'd made and sold a few pieces of jewelry before but was always too busy to really do much.  But now, we've made all sorts of things!  We've had a lot of fun and I've really enjoyed being creative.  It's been such a joy to be with Maria and Cordelia (grandaughter) so much.  There are many good things about it but I still fretted that I needed to get back to taking care of patients.  I thought that was my calling!

Through this study I've felt myself becoming more relaxed about the changes.  One of the things that bothered me was that being an oncology nurse felt like a ministry to me. I felt it was God's plan for me.  Well, it was, but maybe not forever...or maybe not again for just awhile.  Now, I realize that it doesn't have to make sense to me, but it is important that I just trust God to lead me to what his plan is for me.  It's humbling and it has been a bit hard on my ego, but it has been a growing experience for me for sure!  I don't know where it's going from here, but I know who is in charge!

The title of this blog, Only The Manager, is a result of this study and my life's interruptions.  God is the owner of my life, I am only the manager. 

I bet you've had interruptions as well.  I'd like to hear about them. (That sounds strange to write since I have only 1 follower right now, but who knows?)