When I'm Gone

Yesterday we were at the funeral of a lady who was a friend and supporter of so many at our church and actually around the community. Mike officiated at the funeral and I know it was hard for him. However, he always seems to know just the right things to say to give a message of comfort and hope. 

This friend left us very unexpectedly. She had a day of doing things she enjoyed and when she went to bed that night I do not believe she knew her time here was over. What maybe seemed like an ordinary day, ended up being a date that will be written next to her date of birth on her tombstone. 

As I was pondering all this our daughter, Maria, told me of a Latin term she was researching, Memento Mori. It means "remember that you must die". Although it sounds rather ominous, it also seems quite simple. For some reason I found comfort in that. I'm not quite sure why it comforted me. Can you explain it? Maybe it is just because it makes us realize that death is normal. It is expected. 

At any rate, I've been thinking about our friend and the husband who now must travel that path of grief so many have traveled before him.  I am grateful for the faith we share, knowing our time of parting is only temporary.  It does not stop the pain of grief, but it sure gives us knowledge of a peace and joy yet to come.

Last night Mike & I were watching a few videos on YouTube and we came upon this one.  It seemed appropriate for this post. It may make you cry, but it is a song of hope and recovery.



Click on the blue words to read more about why Maria was researching Memento Mori.

Let Us Love One Another

Yesterday I was helping in the kitchen at our church as we were providing a luncheon for those attending a funeral.  I thought about all the churches and all the kitchen workers over the years who have provided comfort in the form of food after a funeral. Preparing food seems to be a universal response, something we want to do to help those who are grieving.  

Does food erase grief?  No, of course not.  But providing this meal for those grieving lets them know we care.  It supplies something practical while letting them know we are there, we see them, we support them in their time of sadness.  This is what we do.

A verse from the Bible then kept running through my head.  It is from 1st John 4:7...  

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

My Chains are Gone

The worship team I am on sang this song yesterday for the funeral of our friend.  I hope you have time to listen to this version.  It has kind of a long piano intro but it is beautiful and if you hang in there, I think you will be glad. 

Like me, many of you likely grew up singing Amazing Grace.  I have always loved that song.  This newer version, with the additional chorus, is very potent.  

The first time I remember our worship team singing this song was a day my friend and patient, Mary, was still alive.  I remember knowing that her life was nearing the end.  She'd arrived late and sat in the back pew, likely too weak to walk any further.  When we sang this powerful song, I felt we were singing it to her most especially.   Just a few weeks later we sang it at her funeral.  Now, I always think of Mary when I hear it.  I find both peace and excitement in this version.

from Tuscancitizen.com

My chains are gone 

I've been set free 

My God, my Savior has ransomed me 

And like a flood His mercy reigns 

Unending love, amazing grace 

Another Good-Bye

After work yesterday I ran to the mall for a brief errand.  As I was walking in, I thought I saw a man I knew.  While I was looking toward him, I suddenly realized that the man I thought he was had actually died a couple of years ago.  Does that ever happen to you, where you feel happy thinking you are approaching an old friend, only to realize it couldn't be them because they are gone?  It happens to me quite a lot.

Through family, church and from my years as a nurse I have known a lot of people.  I don't know how many I've known who are now dead, but the number is pretty high.  The mall was full of people.  I wondered if I'd known an equal number of people who have died.  Maybe.

These are kind of mournful thoughts, I know.  Or are they?  Yes, I miss some of those people a lot.  I wish I could see them again and have a thoughtful conversation with them.   I miss the voice of my friend and patient, Sara.  I miss hearing my Grandma discuss politicians.  I miss seeing Mary in her pew at church.  There are so many people to miss!

I was wondering if I'd bring them back if I had the power to do so and realized I would not.   That would be too mean.  I miss them but I am confident they are having glorious experiences right now.  I am also confident that I will see them again.

Today at church Mike did a memorial service for a charming man.  He was well-loved and will be sadly misssed.  It makes me sad that he is not here, but at the same time, happy for him

Mike's sermon was from a verse in Ecclesiastes.  He spoke of a time and a season for things....a time to be born, a time to die.  Today is the time for sadness and support for those left behind, but it is the season of pure joy for the one who has gone on.

How do people handle death when they do not have this confidence in eternal life?  That is what I am wondering today.