North Carolina Adventure - Day 1

Last night Mike and I just returned from an extra long week-end trip.  Friday we went to Durham, North Carolina to see our oldest son and our daughter-in-law, Ben and Sara.  We'd never been to North Carolina so it was pretty exciting.  They've lived there for a year now so it was most definitely time to make the trip.

After our long flight it was fun to enjoy this nice leisurely walk with Ben and Sara through Duke Forest.  Yes, I am wearing a giant leaf in my hair.  Ben thought it appropriate for the adventure.

It was so wonderful to be able to go see them!   They live too far away but they are happy and busy.  You other parents know how hard it can be with grown kids.  You spend their childhood teaching them how to spread their wings but sometimes when they do that, they fly away!  Well, it is as it should be and we are happy for the opportunities they have encountered.

I'm so proud of Ben.  He's confident and smart and is making a nice life there with Sara.  I miss them but it felt so much better for me to be able to see where they live now.   Over and over I kept thinking how grateful I am that we live in a time when it is not beyond our reach to travel back and forth to see each other.  I thought of my great-grandparents who actually left North Carolina about a century ago and ended up in Wyoming.  I'm guessing that when they left they said good-bye to their relatives with very little hope of seeing them again.

There is a perk to having children live far away; we get to visit and learn about their surroundings.  This Southern orest felt much different than a forest in the Wyoming mountains.  It had it's own sort of beauty.  Much of Wyoming is prairie and we can see for miles and miles.  North Carolina has trees EVERYWHERE!  It was most definitely an adventure for us.

There were a lot of flowers growing wild.  Ben picked one for me, just as he used to do when he was a little boy.  Sweet, huh?

We had dinner at a little cafe with tables outside.  The evening was lovely.  We ended the day on the deck at their house, which is also nestled into the woods.  

What a pleasure it was to be there.

Walking for Life

Shortly after we moved to this town my friend, Nicole, introduced me to an organization that I have grown to really admire.  It is a resource center for women facing pregnancy issues.  It is a life-affirming non-profit Christian organization that offers emotional, spiritual and physical support not only to the woman but to her family.  Their goal is to eliminate the perceived need for abortion by helping women feel confident, not fearful, about their pregnancy.

I first got involved in a crisis pregnancy center when Mike was in seminary in Minnesota.  We had very little money to tithe with or to donate to anyone.  I felt a need to give back, though, so started volunteering at Birthright, a Catholic organization.  I am not Catholic but they accepted my offer to be a part of their efforts and trained me.  I went down to their office most Saturday mornings.  I did pregnancy testing and helped women learn of their options.  It was a busy little place!  We linked pregnant women up with whatever kind of help they needed to empower them to carry their baby to term.  The part I enjoyed most was when women came in with their new babies and I got to help them choose from the donated clothing.

My time at Birthright was so enlightening.  Although I'd heard via the media that abortion was really a women's rights issue, I found that point of view to be a little off-kilter in reality.  Many girls or woman who came there told me they were planning to abort if their pregnancy test was positive.  Of those individuals, without exception, each said they would abort because their dad or boyfriend wanted them to do so.  Let me repeat that...WITHOUT EXCEPTION.  I am sure there are exceptions to that, but none of the people I counselled stated they would abort because they wanted to for themselves.

The other thing I realized was what a loving choice it is when a girl or woman who feels she can't parent, for whatever reason, chooses to carry the baby to term and offer it for adoption.  I know that sometimes those girls/women get no support and are judged for "giving up their own baby" but yet they do it so that child may have life.  What a sweet sacrifice!

I am not a very political person but I am a medical person and everything I have ever learned makes me believe that life begins at conception.  I really don't want to be in anyone's business regarding their reproduction.  However, if I truly believe unborn babies are humans, how could I not speak out?  I came to believe that keeping quiet about it would be as wrong as if I kept quiet if I knew someone was planning to kill their newborn.  That's how I became involved.

What I like about True Care is their compassion.  Even if the patient tells them she is going to abort, they still offer only kindness.  In fact, they let her know that she is welcome to come back at any time.  Knowing that many post-abortive mothers later struggle with depression and guilt, they offer care to help them reach a point of peace, knowing they are forgiven.

Some of the assistance offered at True Care includes a nursing consultation, pregnancy testing and ultrasounds, STD testing and treatment,  abortion recovery, education on all options and referrals for community services and adoption when appropriate.  They do all of this free of charge!

I also like that True Care's goals don't end with a live birth.  They follow-up and offer  parenting classes and other forms of practical help as needed.  At any time during the pregnancy and beyond, they refer patients for help that may be beyond the scope of practice that clinic.

On June 2 Mike and I will be joining a group of great people as we are fund-raising for True Care Women's Resource Center.  If you are interested in supporting this cause, just click here.  They have it set up so you can quickly and easily donate online.  I love that!

I realize that no every one agrees with me on this issue.  I welcome your comments but I ask that you be respectful as this really is an important cause to me and my concern is heartfelt.

It's Just a Phase

When Maria was a 3rd grader she and I were visiting at the home of one of my friends.  My friend had a teen-age daughter who was being quite mouthy toward her mother while we were present.  Maria was quite horrified by it all.  I suppose I was a bit astonished by it as well.

On our way home from my friend's house Maria was talking about the girl and how she treated her mother.  I spoke about how teenagers go through a rough time sometimes  Maria responded, "I hope I NEVER talk to you like that."  Then she went on to say, "But if I do, will you remember that it is just a phase I'm going through?"  I laughed and said that I would.  When she was a teenager it was sometimes hard but I always remembered the little 3rd grade version of herself, imploring me to remember she was just in a phase.

...And Make a Difference Along the Way

We've all seen the motto to Live Every Day to the Fullest.  I saw it again the other day but added to the end was...

And Make a Difference Along the Way!

She Makes My Heart Sing!

This pretty little girl just absolutely makes me smile.  I took this photo recently as I was walking toward Cordy at her house.  As she was waving at me she narrated the situation as well, saying, "I'm waving at you, Grandma.  I'm waving at you."

Then she took me on a tour, showing me her rocks and flowers.

When I've had a couple of days without seeing her sweet face I develop a funny hollow feeling.

Her smile just makes my heart sing!

Slow Mail and Lunch With a Cutie Pie

Yesterday I ran some errands and arrived back home just before lunch.   Someone had brought in the mail and laid it on the kitchen table.  I flipped through it and saw three or four that seemed to be cards for me.  I said, "Wow!  Did I have a birthday or something?"  I was perplexed as my birthday was in the dead of winter.

Before I had a chance to open the cards Sam told me what happened.  Apparently around the first of February Sam had brought mail in from the mailbox but instead of leaving it upstairs where I would find it, he'd taken it downstairs and there it stayed.  Yes, it was a pile of birthday cards for me!

I hope no one has been upset with me for not acknowledging their cards.  I must say, it was a fun thing to be opening them now!  Maria and Cordelia were here for lunch and I mentioned that they should all sing Happy Birthday to me but they did not.  Never mind.  Having them over is like a present anyway.  Just take a look at this sweet face!

I hope you are all having a lovely May.  

My Tree

I pulled this tree up by the roots.

Well, it was a bit smaller when that occurred, as was I.  I guess I was about 5 years old or so and we were visiting my grandparents.  My cousin and I were playing in a vacant area nearby.  It was low and moist and there were a bunch of little seedlings sprouting up.  My cousin, Tim, and I each chose one and pulled it up because we knew our Grandpa Red loved trees.  Wouldn't he be proud of us?!  I remember feeling like we were bringing him such a remarkable treasure.

My Grandpa Red did indeed love trees.  However, their lot was getting pretty well wooded.  They lived right by an alley and there was more vacant land there.  At that time, their home was right on the edge of town.  Grandpa helped Tim and me dig holes and plant our treasures.  I didn't even live in that town so I likely would not have even remembered it by the next time we visited.  Grandpa Red, however, took loving care of our tree babies.

Well, time passed and that vacant land became the site of a new elementary school.  By that time our trees were of a pretty good size.  Somehow Grandpa found out that the powers that be were planning to remove our trees in order to landscape according to their own plan.  In Wyoming, where trees are hard to grow, that was not the best plan.  Grandpa actually went to a meeting and fought for our trees!  Isn't that just about the coolest story ever?

The trees stayed and grew.  When we came to town to visit, Grandma would often take photos of me in front of my tree.  When I married and came there with Mike, she took photos of both of us there.  Later, she did the same with our children involved.  

My tree has been hit with lightning several times over the years.

I think its scars just give it more character.

Grandpa Red died in 1982 but the trees lived on.  Grandma Rose died a little over a year ago.  On the day of her funeral my aunt took pictures of me and Tim in front of our trees.  I thought that would be the last time I posed by my tree. 

This past Sunday, when Sam and I went to visit my Mom, we drove by my grandparent's house.  Of course I had to stop and check on my tree.  It's still there.  It's still beautiful. It still makes me proud of my Grandpa.

Kirsten's Kitchen: of vegan creations: Craft Project: How to Make Clay Roses

My daughter, Maria, is once again a guest poster at this site...  Kirsten's Kitchen: of vegan creations: Craft Project: How to Make Clay Roses  Check it out!

Standing on the Promises

Are you familiar with the song, Standing on the Promises?  The first line is, "Standing on the Promises of Christ My King."  Our friend, Emily, wrote a post yesterday that reminded me of that song.  Today I just want to ask you to please follow this link to read her post.  You won't be sorry.

Pounding and Banging

Well, we couldn't just relax now that the work is done for the time being on the inside of our house.  I'm really glad that I'm not working a night shift so far this week because with all the pounding and banging on our roof, I don't think I could sleep during the day!

Actually, we found out we had damage to our roof last Fall.  The winds here all too often reach 60-70 mph and poor little shingles can just take so much.  Apparently many others have the same problem as there was quite a waiting list for the roofers, and of course they couldn't work on roofs most of the winter here.

Although it is annoying, I am grateful for people who will get up there and do that work as I sure wouldn't want to.  Sorry, I was too shy to point my camera when the guys were up there.  Some of you may have liked that!

I Don't Know Who Those People Are

I hope you had a great Mother's Day.  I realize it is a hard day for some for so many reasons.  I hope all women understand their importance as a female role model to those around them.  None of us know all the lives we touch.

My day went like this:

-Got up.

-Went to church.

-Sang for an hour of practice with our Worship Team
-Rode with Sam for a couple of hours to surprise my Mom  (more on that later)
-Enjoyed a phone call from son, Ben, from North Carolina
-Ate out with Mom, Sam, Tina (sister), Steven (nephew) and Stephanie (niece)
-Rode a couple hours back with Sam
-Stopped by to enjoy some evening time with Cordelia, Maria and Eric
-Home

So, surprising my Mom was fun.  I called her just before we got to her place and wished her a Happy Mother's Day.  My sister and her kids were in on the plan and had arranged a reservation for us to eat out.  Because we couldn't make it to town until 2:00, Niece Stephanie helped to keep my Mom from eating lunch.  Stephanie creatively asked to go browse some open houses.  They happened upon a little art show but the open houses were pretty slim pickings.  Stephanie then had her Grandma (Mom) give her a tour around town of all the houses my Mom has lived in there during her lifetime.  That took awhile!  Stephanie did a great job.

OK, back to my phone call.  I was still speaking to Mom when we parked by her house.  She was saying something and then kind of stalled out as she looked out the window.  She said to me, "Someone is coming to my house.  I don't know who those people are."  What?!  Well, as it turned out, she was looking at the car, not us.  Often I come up to her place in Mike's vehicle so maybe that was it.  Still, it was pretty funny.

Of course I snapped some photos to share with you.

I loved my day.

I love my family.

My Mother in a Sentence

As I was driving home from work one day last week, listening to KLOVE, I heard a challenge.  Well, I don't think it was meant as a challenge exactly.  Anyway, they were asking people to call in or write on the web page or some such thing.  What they wanted was for people to describe their mother in one sentence.  So, as I drove I mulled that one over.  I decided to do it on my blog...

I've always known my mother to be one person who truly let's the love of Christ shine out through her words and actions, putting the needs of others before her own as she strives to bring joy, comfort, peace and love to all she meets at all times and she does this as though it were her pleasure, not an act of martyrdom as she makes us all smile and laugh and even giggle because she also has a great sense of humor and is very intelligent and that combination makes for a witty type of delightful conversation that is enjoyed by all of us who know her and we in turn walk away from her feeling as though we are better human beings ourselves while we contemplate how she could be so smart, kind, funny and humble even as she is beautiful and looks so much younger than her actual age which isn't that old anyway because I always had the youngest mother of all my friends and many of my friends even liked to think of her as their second mother because she is quite simply just the epitome of motherhood, perhaps even the epitome of womanhood and I love her so much and I love that her name is Grace because she is quite gracious and I know that I owe her for modeling the kind of mother I hoped to be even when I knew I wasn't ever likely to live up to her high standards but yet she made me feel that I could do anything and when I did do things she made me feel like I did them better than anyone could have imagined and that I myself was just perfect but perhaps she was just seeing her own reflection, which of course is so lovely but she would not admit it because of her deep humility although I don't know how she could remain so humble when she is so talented, excelling as an artist, seamstress, gardener, cook and so much more yet she acts as though it is nothing but I know that she is a woman far above rubies as it says in the Bible and I am grateful that she raised me with Biblical ethics and always helped me and my siblings decipher what is truly important in our lives and I love her so much and of course who wouldn't because she is quite easy to love and I am so glad to be one of her daughters.

Well, I left some stuff out but they really only wanted one sentence so there you have it.

Love Notes on the Wall

I've been painting one of our bathrooms.  Actually, that bathroom has been torn up for weeks and weeks.

First, we discovered the shower was leaking into the basement below.  So, we set up for our plumber friend to fix that but decided to replace the whole shower stall.  We waited for the new shower to arrive and for the plumber to be available.

Then, the plumber saw that if we took out an upper cupboard next to the shower we could upgrade to a larger stall.  Our old shower stall was, shall we say, close.  As our plumber friend put it, if we dropped the bar of soap we'd have to open the door to pick it up.  Think about it.

So, they ripped it all out.  The first night I realized I could sit on the potty and look into the attic...

as well as the basement...

That was fun.  

You can't really tell by the photo but trust me, I could see into the basement and the basement could see up to me.

The day the plumber had the new shower installed he contacted a local sheet rocker person to come fix the hole in the ceiling where the cupboard used to connect.  There was some wait time until she could come.  As it turned out she was a single mom doing her sheet rock business after her day job so it took more than a week for her part to be completed.  She warned me ahead of time about that and I agreed to it so it was ok.

Anyway, now, for the first time in a long while, we have no workers inside our house on a daily basis.  So, now it is time to paint!  

 And, as is my custom, I painted a message on the wall.

It was a good thing I took the photo as no one saw it but me and Bode before I was ready to paint that wall.

I like knowing my little love note is under that last coat of paint, though.

Mother's Day Gift Idea Day 3

This is also a very cool idea.  Our son, Ben, made this for us.  I think it could be a very creative Mother's Day gift but really it could be for any occasion.

Ben used an old book...

...and cut out squares through many, many of the pages.

He set a family photo in so that it was framed by the cut pages.

Isn't that cool?

I love it!

I think it was rather painstaking work but I really appreciated it.

Mother's Day Gift Ideas Day 2

You are going to love this idea!

One year, Maria took a round tin (vintage?) and turned it into a treasure for me.  I am sure a variety of containers could be used.  I loved this one.

 She filled it with 356 little slips of paper.

On each slip of paper was one of her childhood memories involving me.  How could she even think up that many memories?

Isn't that cool?  Each was folded in half just once.  It took restraint to read just one a day, but that made it a a gift to last all year.  Truthfully, it will last a lifetime.

After I read each one, I folded it accordion style, just so I could tell which I'd already read.  Of course I saved every single one.

It was so much fun to read through them.  Some of her memories were things I also remembered, but some were thoughts she had that I never even knew about at the time.  It was fun to read all those memories from her point of view.  I knew this took a lot of thought and time but oh my, what a treasure it was, and still is, for me!

Mother's Day Gift Ideas Day 1

I am not always that great at coming up with good gift ideas.  I procrastinate and frustrate myself.  However, I have received some really wonderful gifts from my children over the years for Mother's Day as well as birthdays and Christmas.  I have three children so for the next three days I am going to tell you of some ways they have gifted me.

Sam is our youngest, turning 19 this Summer.  He has always been a sensitive kid.  Even as a preschooler he was a child who quietly watched people, really noticing them.  I know that he paid attention to me because at a really young age he noticed how much I enjoyed wearing cross necklaces.  So, he often finds pretty ones to give me.   Paying attention to what is important to another, rather than giving a gift that YOU'd like, is a sign of thoughtful gift-giving.   I think that's always a way to make a person feel noticed and loved.

When I wear cross necklaces it helps remind me of God's son, as well as one of my own.  

So, if you are stalled out on ideas for your Mom, think about what she really likes.  Does she like to sew?  How about starting a charm bracelet with a charm of a sewing machine?  Does she love the color green?  Maybe she needs a new green scarf.  Is she a walker or runner?  Maybe a gift card to her favorite shoe store.  I don't think mothers are wanting lavish gifts, just gifts that show you notice her as a person.  Lucky for me, my children are really good at that.

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
And now, I want to apologize to Darla Q.  When I did my tutorial/giveaway I said that I'd count Facebook entries as well, since some folks add their comments there.  Well, I think Darla was actually the very first to enter.  I knew it...time passed... I forgot.  I'm sorry Darla!  Send me your address and I will send to you another gift, these earrings that I made...

Kirsten's Kitchen: of vegan creations: Vegan Parenting

My daughter, Maria, is guest posting at Kirsten's Kitchen.  I thought I would share that post here as a lot of people ask me about her vegan diet, especially as it pertains to her 2 yr old daughter as well as the baby she is carrying.  Although I am not vegan, I am proud of Maria and Eric for their diligence as they strive to remain well informed and healthy.  I just thought some of you might be interested in understanding how they do it.

Kirsten's Kitchen: of vegan creations: Vegan Parenting

First Thoughts

What are your first thoughts when you awaken?  Do they follow any kind of pattern?  I want my first thoughts to be something like, "Thank you for this new day, God!" or at least thoughts representing honor and appreciation.  It seems like a pastor's wife should be able to pull that off, wouldn't you think?  Well, it just isn't so in the case of this pastor's wife.

I wake up weird.  When I wake up in the dark I often can't remember where I am.  I don't mean that I can't remember if I am on a trip somewhere; I mean I truly can't think of where I live!  This has been the case for most of my life and I expect it is because I have moved a lot... a LOT.  My most common first thought upon awakening is just that, "Where am I?"  It is usually followed by the vital question, "...and where is the bathroom?"  Sometimes I sort it out quickly but sometimes I lay there in the dark for a few minutes before I am alert enough to at least know where I live.  It's important that I know where I am so I don't bang into something when I do get up.

Mike loves to wake me up with confusing questions.  This usually happens when I've gone to bed before him.  Sometimes he stays up late playing his guitar or something.  When he comes into the bedroom you'd think he'd be as quiet as possible but instead he takes pride and joy in asking me nonsense questions.   He says it is funny to watch me.  I should be responding with something like, "Shut up and leave me alone" but instead I try to be polite and accommodating and I really want to give him the correct answer.  I often don't even remember all this in the morning or it may come back to me later in the day and I have to get clarification from him.  I remember one that I struggled over for awhile had something to do with a question about Elvis being just a few inches tall.  See what I mean?  Nonsense!

After I figure out where I am I often take a little time trying to figure out what day it is and what do I need to be doing.  My job is mostly 12 1/2 hour shifts and no week is the same.  I may work 2 night shifts, be off a couple of days and then work a day shift.  I may be working all weekdays or there may be week-end shifts thrown in. Are you understanding a little more about why I may wake up confused?  Working a mixed bag of shifts can throw a lady off a bit so I may not even know if I've just slept through the night or if I worked all night and just slept through the day.  After working a night shift last week I fell asleep almost instantly.  When I woke up I checked the clock and learned that I'd only been sleeping 25 minutes!  It's all so confusing.

Well, today I woke up and went through all that mental configuring and reconfiguring and realized that I am not going to work at hospice today.  It is a day off and I have a long, long list of errands and projects.  I get to spend time with family.  The sun is shining.  I am healthy.  I've had a cup of coffee and all is well.  Now, I am ready to say it, "Thank you for this new day, God!"

Death Can Bring Out the Best or the Worst in People

One thing I've learned as a hospice nurse is that the death and dying process can bring out the best or the worst in family members.  It is part of our job to educate and comfort family members as well as the patients.  We teach them what to expect, what symptoms may develop, how we will help them and things like that.  Sometimes we have to help family members understand each other.

There are times when family members cause a patient more pain and suffering than their disease process causes.  Two adult children arguing over a parent's possessions, while the parent is still present, is a heart-breaking event.  In some cases there may be one family member who has been the caretaker for the patient for months or even years,  only to be criticized by another who shows up near the end.  There are times when a hospice nurse has to guide people to being their best version of themselves.  Sometimes a hospice nurse has to remind people that they have the choice to forgive or hold on to their anger.  These are not things I expected in nursing, but I find satisfaction in the effort.

More often than not, though, I see examples of remarkable sacrifices and acts of love.  I encounter people who guide me to be a better version of myself.  I see spouses spending all day, every day, at the bedside of their loved one.  I peeked in to check on a patient this week to find her in her bed asleep, with her spouse in a chair pulled up close to her bed.  They were holding hands.  They were both asleep.  Is that not sweet?

I've seen adult children who do everything they can to keep their parent as healthy and happy as long as possible.  I've seen them sacrifice of their own time to care for them when they could not care for themselves.  I've often heard statements along the lines of "I will do whatever needs done."  Sometimes "whatever needs done" can be tasks that are not so very pleasant, tasks that are humbling for both patient and caretaker.  I hear family members telling me how remarkable their loved one was and why they would do anything for them.  I love that.

These are the things I'm thinking about today.  Thanks for "listening".

Looking For a Title

Mike will go to great lengths to entertain Cordelia.  Does anyone have a good title for this photo?

The Good Old Days

Last night started off quite lovely.  One of my nieces, Stephanie, came to town.  It was nice to have her join us for dinner. Maria, Eric and Cordelia joined us.  We were pretty well behaved.

Stephanie had other plans with friends for the evening but since we were all gathered, we decided to play a game of Farkle.  It started out rather ordinary, but somewhere along the way things went wrong... all wrong.

Somebody, I won't say who, decided it was funny to toss a little fake poo into the Farkle Cup.  Actually, it was kind of funny... the first time.  Maria went to roll the dice and out came something more.  It looked pretty gross.  We should not have laughed,  I guess.  Soon, Mike and Eric were trying to outdo each other.  They'd each sneak out of the room and next time they had the Farkle Cup, they'd sneak a new item into it.  It got really weird very fast.  We rolled dental floss, a moustache comb and Bubba teeth, among other things.  Eeeew!  Maria and I laughed a lot but eventually we reached a point of laugh fatigue.  Mike and Eric, however, never ever have laugh fatigue.  It did not cease to make them giggle with pride!

Cordy watched Yo Gabba Gabba with some intensity, but managed some time to hug on Grandpa.

Maria looked beautiful, wearing what Eric called her pregnant Jedi outfit.  I can't wait to meet baby Jedi!

Things are the good old days, aren't they?

I Hate to Complain, But...

Before I complain about complaining, I want to say thank you to the readers who commented on my latest tutorial/giveaway, Kate W. and AKM.  Well, you are both such sweet readers I decided to just make a second necklace and let you both be winners!  Yay!  Watch for your peacock pendants in your mailboxes soon.

Now, onto another topic...

Yesterday I had to make a complaint.  I had paid someone for a service and there was a problem.  I'd thought there was a problem at the time I made payment but I wasn't firm and I wasn't insistent.  Those of you who know me are not surprised by this, I'm sure.  I so admire people who are able to state their needs and get what they pay for.  I have a weakness in this area... a BIG weakness.

I lost sleep this week having imaginary conversations in my head with the person I needed to call.  I fretted and worried.  It was stupid.  When I finally made the call, it took a whole 2 minutes and the person was polite and understanding and agreeable.  It was simply no big deal.

To give you an idea of my weakness, I am going to tell you a story.

When I was 7 months pregnant with Sam, we were visiting my Mom.  As is my nature, I suddenly HAD to have a new haircut.  Mom took me to the place where she got her hair cut.  I was happy when we walked in and I saw a poster with the model wearing exactly the haircut I wanted.  It was something like this:

It's cute, huh?  I liked that it was a short style but the top layers were long enough for plenty of movement  As the lady cut my hair she kept commenting that I certainly had thick hair.  My Mom told me later that she was thinning it as she said that.  I was turned away from the mirror so I didn't really know what was going on.  When she was done, I looked like this:

The top was so short it wouldn't even lay down.  She'd thinned big chunks clear to my scalp, leaving only bristles.  There were virtually no bangs left.  The sides were most definitely up over my ears.

I was so upset!  I wanted to cry.  With my extra large body at the time, I felt like a pinhead.  To make things worse, we were going to a family reunion soon, with Mike's side of the family.  I was to be in all the family photos with a hairdo that most definitely did not feel like "me".

Do you think that when I looked in the mirror at the salon I shrieked?  Nope.  Do you think I asked the woman, "What did you do to me!!!??"  Nope.  Do you think I even pointed out to her that my hair looked nothing like the photo?  Nope.

I gave her a tip.

Paying More Attention Now

If you are one of my close friends, you've probably heard this story before so it's ok if you want to move on with your day.  Come back tomorrow.  Maybe I will have fresh material.  If you are a friend I've only met through this blog, don't be confused.  I am a hospice nurse now.  However, I worked quite a few years as an oncology nurse and this my story of how I made that career move.

I'm a person very in tune with my own strengths and weaknesses.  I'm always very aware of my own situation and I am able to make precise and snappy decisions with confidence and efficiency.  NOT!

Sometimes I just point in one direction, wearing blinders, looking neither left nor right.  This was the case when I was working as a nurse at our local hospital.  I believed that was the only kind of nursing for me.  I was sure I was supposed to be at the hospital.  Hospitals are lively and vital and exciting and that was exactly where I wanted to be.

One January day I was having coffee with a friend.  She told me that she was friends with an oncologist who had been ill and hadn't been practicing for a few years.  This oncologist was better and was planning to open a clinic again.  She was looking for a nurse and my friend said, "I think you should work for her."  I smiled and thanked her and told her that I was happy being a hospital nurse.  I absolutely did not want to be an office nurse and I MOST definitely did not want to give chemotherapy.  Even the thought of being a chemo nurse was frightening!

About two weeks later I was approached at work by a fellow nurse.  She told me that she was friends with an oncologist who had been ill and hadn't been practicing for a few years.  This oncologist was better and was planning to open a clinic again.  She was looking for a nurse and my friend said, "I think you should work for her."  I smiled and thanked her and told her that I was happy being a hospital nurse.  I absolutely did not want to be an office nurse and I MOST definitely did not want to give chemotherapy.  Even the thought of being a chemo nurse was frightening!

Did that last paragraph look a lot like the paragraph before it?  Yep.  I'm sure the conversations weren't quite word for word, but close.  Notice how dumb I was?  I didn't realize yet that I was being directed.

Not long after that second conversation I received a phone call.  It was a bit awkward as I was in the bathroom, about to get into the tub.  My son knocked on the door and when I unlocked the door I reached my arm out to get the phone.  I thought it was a friend calling and stepped into the tub as I answered.  When I realized it was the doctor I stood VERY still in the tub so as not to make water noises.  We talked for a long time.  At the end of that conversation I'd agreed to at least meet with her for coffee.

My rolling "interview" began at a little coffee shop.  We talked and talked.  She then drove me to the office she was preparing.  Realizing it was time to pick up her son from preschool we rode together to get him, then went from there to a daycare to pick up her little girl.  When she dropped me off at my car she said, "The job is your's if you want it."  I told her I always talked such decisions over with my husband then whispered, "But I really want it."

The truth is, I was really afraid that I couldn't do that job.  I had no one to train me.  I had to spend so much time on education!

As it turned out, I enjoyed working for her and count it as a great learning experience.  I grew in confidence in my nursing.  We became friends along the way and went through a lot of things together.  I still treasure her friendship!

Why am I telling this story?  I don't know.  It was just on my mind.  I think  it is one of my best personal examples of how I tried to get in my own way, or maybe God's way.  Looking back, I feel strongly that God was guiding me to where I was supposed to be at that time in my life.  I wasn't very good at picking up the hints but I'm glad he was persistent.  I try to pay more attention now.