What a Difference a Day Makes

This photo was taken in our backyard Tuesday afternoon...

And these photos were Wednesday...

I was happy about the snow, actually.  My arms were about to fall off from all the leaf-raking!

What kind of weather are you having?

It's a Girl! Documentary Film

I have something important I must share.  The film, It's a Girl!, is so powerful.

You need to try to see it.  Please take the time to click on the website link and watch the trailer.  If you can find the movie in your area, attend a screening.  Or, the website tells you how you can host the film yourself.

It’s a Girl! Documentary Film – Official Website

This documentary shows how widespread the killing of baby girls has become, focusing mostly on India and China.

This woman killed 8 daughters.

In one scene, women in India were standing around talking with the interviewer, telling him the different ways they had killed their baby girls.  They did not seem remorseful and it was explained that they felt they'd been merciful as they knew their daughters would live miserable lives.

One of the highlighted problems was the dowry system.  Parents of girls, at the time of their marriage, must give money and possessions to the family of the groom.  Additionally, that family also gets their daughter.  Everyone wants a daughter-in-law as she will be there to care for them in their old age.  A daughter, however, just costs them money to raise and then they lose them, as well as the valuable dowry.  Also, if a bride has a baby girl, she is often pressured to kill it.  She herself may be killed for having girls.  What a messed up system!

Couples in China tell of forced abortions and forced sterilizations.  China now has something like 35,000 more men than women.  It would seem that women would then become more valued.  Well, sort of, but not in a good way.  Brothels are huge businesses.  Little girls are being stolen by families with sons, raised to be brides.  What a mess!

They are asking for our help, mainly to speak up.  If you have any social media power (Facebook, a blog, etc.) please consider using it to let others know how common these horrible practices have become.  Look around the website to learn of other ways to help.

Thanks for reading this. I know it wasn't my usual kind of post.  When asked to blog about it, though, I knew it was a story needing told from everyone with a voice.

Crock Pot Cake!! No, I'm Not Kidding!!!

I'm telling you, I am going to be your best friend now.  You will love, love, love me forever for what I am about to tell you.  I'm going to give you the secret to happiness.  Well, maybe that is a little overstated but I've got something sweet to tell you...something VERY sweet!

Before I start, and to help you understand just how important this is to me, let me tell you about my cake-baking history.  It's not pretty.  First, when Maria was turning 4, she was having a birthday party.  My mother-in-law was there to help (we were living in the Seattle area) and I was very pregnant with Ben.  I'm thinking I was a bit hormonal because everything about that day still kind of makes me feel discouraged.  However, the part about the cake...  I had baked a cake for the party and when I was turning it out of the pan, it broke into 5 parts.  That's right.  I managed to break it into that big of a mess.  I believe I started to weep.  Mike's Mom handed me some money and told me to go buy a cake, which I did.

Now, fast forward to Ben's 4th birthday.  We had just moved to Harlowton, MT a few weeks before his birthday.  He didn't really know enough kids to invite for a party so we invited the one little friend he had, a little cowboy named, J.C.  We also had J.C.'s whole family over as well.  When it came time for the cake Ben took a big breath and blew out his candles.  When I asked him to tell me his wish he again took a big breath and as he exhaled he muttered, "Iiiiiii Wiiiish for a better birthday cake."  Wait, what?!  Well, that gives you just a little background into my great cake-baking abilities.  Don't even ask me about frosting cakes.  Let's just say that no bakery has called me to come work for them.

So, last Saturday we were invited to a little get-together with friends.  I was to bring appetizers and a dessert.  That didn't sound scary until the hostess said something about the dessert being cake as we were celebrating some birthdays as well as the recent wedding of one couple.  OK, I guess dessert was expected to be cake.  Yikes!  Luckily, last week our local paper came out with some new crock pot recipes and one was for a cake!

I know what you are thinking, a slow cooker is not appropriate for cake-baking.  Well, in my desperation, I gave it a try.  I'm telling you, it was soooooo goooooooood, just writing about it makes my mouth all watery.  So, I'm going to share this magnificent find with you now.  Although I tweaked the recipe a bit (as always), the original one comes from "Best of Country Slow Cooker Recipes" by Reiman Publications.  I just want to be sure to give credit where credit is due.  Also, I'd like to mention that there are no eggs in this recipe so lick the bowl when you are done, with no worries about salmonella.  The chocolate chips, butter, milk and ice cream could all be switched out for vegan versions of the same.

Hot Fudge Cake

Use the recipe as written for a 3 quart crockpot.  I also have one of those larger, oval ones so I doubled everything and it worked great.  First, the ingredients (for the smaller version)...

1 3/4 cups packed brown sugar, divided                  2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 cup all-purpose flour                                           1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 tablespoons baking cocoa, divided                        1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
2 teaspoons baking powder                                     1 3/4 cups boiling water
1/2 teaspoon salt                                                    Vanilla ice cream for topping
1/2 cup milk                                                           Cinnamon (my addition)

In a bowl, combine 1 cup of the brown sugar, flour, 3 tablespoons cocoa, baking powder and salt.  I dumped in a lot of cinnamon as well, because I bought too much cinnamon and need to use it up, because it is good for you (as if that was my top concern here) and because I always change recipes in some way.

Use another bowl to combine the milk, butter and vanilla.  Mix stuff up together in their own bowls then mix the contents of the two bowls together just until combined.  Spread that mixture around the bottom of a 3-quart slow cooker (crock pot) that you've already sprayed with a nonstick cooking spray.  It looks like a weird thing to put in a crock pot but you're going to have to use some faith here.  It gets more strange yet.  Dump all the chocolate chips on top of the batter, spread around of course.

If you have left-over chocolate chips, eat them while you are working or just dump them on in.  The more the better as they become the hot fudge.

Grab one of those bowls you've already used.  Rinse it out if you feel you must but it doesn't matter.  Combine the remaining brown sugar and cocoa.  If you, too, have purchased two large containers of cinnamon, add more of it here.



Stir in the boiling water.



Now, pour that whole bowl of brown soup right on top of the chocolate chips.  It won't look right but don't panic.

Just put the lid on, set it on high and come back in about 4 hours.  In my case I had it on high for 3 hours then turned it to the lowest setting for a few more hours.  When I went to the party I plugged it in there and left it on low for another hour or more.  It worked out just fine.  I even bet it would work if you did 8-9 hours on only the low setting.  It won't matter if it is a bit crunchy around the edges or a bit gooey in the middle.  Serve it scooped into bowls.  It will taste perfect when topped with the ice cream.  The hard part is not eating so much of it that you make yourself sick!

So, go try this recipe.  Impress your friends!  Impress your family, and then tell me who your bff is now!

A Day Full of Joy

Last evening was so beautifully golden!  We had great family fun, playing in the leaves.  I think one of the best things about having little children around is that any of us can again choose to abandon grown-up inhibitions and just play again.  Mike is better at that than most adults.  Sometimes, watching him with our granddaughters, I just think my heart will burst with the joy of it.

Earlier yesterday I met up with a group of friends.  We all once worked together caring for oncology patients.  Most of us still live in the same town and see each other from time to time.  One friend, Pam, moved to North Dakota several years ago.  She was back in town and we were all so excited to get a chance to visit with her.  Our time together was short, but good!

I could tell you some great stories about each of these women but I will just say, I have been blessed with some remarkable friends over the years.

Did you all have a nice week-end?

Fresh Mercies Each Morning

I took this photo off our back deck yesterday morning.  My camera and I did not quite capture the full beauty. When I turned and looked out the window, the colors were so magnificent I actually gasped.  A few minutes later it was already dulled, but still pretty.  It made me wonder about all the little moments of beauty that I miss because I forget to stop and look.

Lamentations 3:23

Great is his faithfulness;  his mercies begin afresh each morning.

May your day be filled with moments of unexpected beauty.

Why I Have a Crush on My Pastor

October is Pastor Appreciation Month! Have I mentioned that I have a crush on my pastor?  I think that is acceptable, given that he is also my husband.  Recently I told you a bit about the day Mike shocked me with the news that he was being called into the ministry.  Today I want to tell you how it is now, more than 31 years after that day.

Last Sunday Mike received a basket full of cards from people at our church.  They were tender and expressed such kind words; I had tears in my eyes as I read them.  I loved that many were made by children in Sunday School classes.

Do you see that bottom right card?  I loved that one.  It is so true!  Let me break it down for you.

Encourager - Mike is most definitely that to his flock.  He wants to help everyone feel confident and he encourages them to build on their strengths.  For example, people within the congregation often take turns giving the children's sermon.  Although it is for the children, it occurs right up front in the middle of the service with everyone watching and listening.  It is kind of scary if you aren't used to it.  One lady was nervous but wanted to try it.  He helped her along the way,  encouraging her as she came in to practice during the week.  She did a fine job!

Counselor - This is one aspect that I don't know as much about, but there is a good reason for that.  When Mike graduated from the seminary we had a discussion about confidentiality.  We felt it was very, very important that when people come to Mike for counselling, they could feel certain that their private matters were only for his ears.  Sometimes that has led to some weird moments when people THINK I know everything they have told them, but it is important.  I think there are times that this makes the burden of carrying others' pain a bit more difficult but he is a professional and that is what professionals do.  I can tell you that I've had many people, over the years, tell me that Mike has helped them so much.  Even if I don't know what they are talking about, it makes me proud of him.

Teacher - This part is not hard for Mike at all.  His Mom and one of his sisters were teachers and so I think it is in his blood.  He prepares thoroughly and has an easy, logical flow to his teaching style.  It just comes naturally.  When he teaches kids, he is just down-right fun!  He creatively works up games and other ways to make learning a blast for them.

Preacher - Mike is an introvert so it is really surprisingly weird that he is such a good preacher.  The very first time he was to give a sermon I felt very nervous on his behalf.  That was the last time that happened to me, though.  I never felt nervous for him to preach again.  He has a way of speaking the truth with a delightful mixture of humor, conviction and knowledge.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say it felt like he was talking directly to them.  He knows what he wants to say, he is prepared and knowledgeable, concise, and speaks the truth with a calm, easy-going style.  

Leader - I think many of us think of a leader as an exuberant, boisterous personality that has a flare for revving up a group of people.  That isn't Mike... ever.  His style is straight forward and honest.  Often one of the best leadership traits I've seen in him is his ability to calm a group.  He has a simple way of helping people work through issues or follow through on projects with an approach of kindness.  I don't know if any of you have ever noticed this, but sometimes a group of people have a tendency to pull in different directions and maybe even build a bit of resentment toward one another.  Mike is good at cutting through that to help them see how to work together more effectively and lovingly.

Comforter - Mike is truly a talented comforter.  This is not something he had to develop.  He knows when to speak soothing words, when to quietly listen and when to just give a hug.  Over and over and over I hear people telling me how much his visit meant to them when they were hurting...in the hospital...dealing with a shock...in pain...experiencing loss of a loved one... etc.    He does things like go out in the middle of the night to be with someone in the emergency room.  Just this week he spent much of his day off at the hospital to be with a lady facing surgery.  I've seen him drive 6 hours to attend a funeral of someone he didn't even know because one of the family members needed him there.  Sometimes I worry about Mike in this part of his job.  I worry that in taking on the pain of others, the burden will be more than he can withstand.  In this I have to trust the ultimate comforter, the Holy Spirit, to comfort Mike himself.

There was no card from me in the basket.  This post is my card to him.  I want to tell him how I feel blessed beyond the others because I get to not only have him as my pastor but I get to spend my life with him.  I want him to know that I see how he puts so much into his work.  When others tease him that he only works Sunday Mornings, I am well aware that he usually works 50+ hours a week.  Often, after putting in a full day, he spends his evenings counseling, at committee meetings or at home working into the night.  Sometimes that is the only way he can complete lessons and sermons after spending a day of interruptions as he attends to his flock.  He sacrifices so much of himself for others.  I want him to know that I see this.  I want him to know that I also appreciate his dedication to his calling and I am honored to be his helpmate.

The cards were all beautiful.  Many had Bible verses and poems.  Many had sweet and grateful handwritten expressions of appreciation.  Many thanked him for the blessing he has been in their lives.  One thanked him for reflecting Jesus and followed with Matthew 5:16:

"Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven."

Sunshine & Shadows

Late yesterday afternoon I sat down in the recliner with a bag of yarn and my crochet hook.  The sun was hanging low and pouring in the window, shining in my eyes so that I couldn't even do my work.  I got up to close the drapes and then came to my senses. Instead, I grabbed my camera and went out to better appreciate the last of the day.  It was so lovely out, I decided to just share some of that beauty here with you.  I hope it makes you feel as happy as it did me.

Up-Scaling Makes Me Feel Like a Hero!

There's something new going on at our Wyoming Rose Boutique.  Yes, we're still crocheting and crafting but we've added up-scaling to the mix as well.  Have you done any up-scaling that you'd recommend?

If you don't know what I am talking about, let me break it down to two simple steps.

1)     SHOP!  Maria and I aren't too excited to shop the usual way.  We aren't big on going to department stores to find our treasures.  What is the most fun is to shop thrift stores, keeping our eyes (and minds) open.  We really try to see items through our creative vision glasses.  OK, we don't have special glasses.  But we are developing an eye for potential.  We don't always know what we are searching for until we see it.  Things that catch my attention are classic styles or delicate remnants from the past.  Sometimes it is just a unique color or texture that I want to enhance.

2)     LET YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD!  This is the part that takes the most time.  I take one of our treasures back to my Rose Room and start experimenting.  I can't tell you how many different ideas I worked through on this golden purse, for example.  What I ended up doing is cutting out this piece of vintage lace and appliqueing it to the front of the purse.  The lace itself has some history.  My mother-in-law gave me some of her sewing things years ago (more than 30 years) and I still have some of it.  (Carol, do you recognize it?) This lace is one of my favorites as you just can't find any like it now.  Isn't it pretty?  It took this purse to a new level of of awesome.  But, I still felt like it needed something more.  I cut and twirled and tied and imagined for quite awhile before I realized this purse just needed some bling, so I made a bracelet for it.  I was really quite pleased with the result.  I like the mixture of antique and glamour, don't you?  We have it listed on our Wyoming Rose Boutique on Etsy.

I went kind of a different way with this classic red purse.  I wanted to keep it youthful and fun but it needed some personality.  I pawed through a lot of fabric before seeing how this bright apple print wanted to bring out the best of the red purse.  I put a lot of time into the process but the result was a cheerful, unique and spunky looking up-scaled bag.  What do you think of it?

I am pretty proud of this next one.  We found this chocolatey blazer and I knew right away that it was a candidate for up-scaling.  It was in excellent condition, soft and cozy - perfect for chilly days.  It already had some interesting lines.  Some of the vertical seams actually had encased elastic that gathered it up just enough to give it some drama, but it still wasn't really living up to its potential.  I took  it home and loved it up.  It had perfectly nice covered buttons but the brown on brown just went flat.  I replaced all the buttons with cool white ones that celebrated the fun of shape.  No more round boring buttons!  Then, I started experimenting with color.  I settled on a peachy cotton thread that had kind of a special smooth finish to it.  I hand-crocheted a lace that could peek out at the bottom of the sleeves.  I did not want to over do it but I still felt it needed a bit more.  I then used more of the fun thread to crochet a flower.  I centered the flower on a cut-out of more antique lace (thanks again to my mother-in-law) that was already a daisy-like design.  I centered another of the funky buttons for the center and sewed it all together.  When I attached it to the blazer, a star was born!  To see more detailed photos just click here.  

So, there you have it.  Go shopping and see if you get any fun ideas to upscale something.  I know that it made me feel rather heroic, as though I'd rescued something from boredom.  Have fun!

p.s.  Anyone who orders from Wyoming Rose Boutique can enter the secret code at check-out to receive a 10% discount.  The secret code is:  DISCOUNT 

Spanish for Nursing - It's FUN!

I am enjoying my Spanish for Nursing Class sooooo much!  Our instructor is likely the biggest part of what makes it so enjoyable.  She's funny, well organized and knowledgeable.  She moves at a very fast pace but she has ways of helping us remember things.

Another reason I am enjoying it is because it is a very practical approach to learning what we absolutely need to learn in the least amount of time.  We didn't have to start with difficult (and boring) grammar lessons. We really just jumped right in.  I can now ask a patient if they have nausea.  I can ask them to hold their breath, turn over, sit, stand, etc.  I can tell them where to find the bathroom, ask them where it hurts and tell their family to wait in the waiting room. Our instructor tosses in grammar knowledge as well as cultural knowledge in ways that make it all even more interesting to us.

The curriculum is wonderful!  In fact, it is so excellent I have decided I need to provide an unsolicited commercial right here, right now.  You see, this company makes courses for a lot more than just nurses.  I went online and looked it up.  I found they have courses for those working at convenience stores, correctional facilities, bank tellers, firefighters, realtors and more... much more!

This company uses something called the Language Power-Lock System, which is trademarked. I don't know why it is so much better than traditional ways of learning a language but here is what they have to say about it.. .

"The Language Power-Lock System™, created by Command Spanish® Inc., revolutionizes language e-Training. Seven brain-compatible, interactive processes unite to provide contextualized, purposeful learning opportunities. The Language Power-Lock System™ employs an integrated “switchback method” to engage the learner through visual, auditory, and psychomotor pathways. These interactive learning processes provide adult learners with an easy, user-friendly, effective system for the learning and long-term retention of practical Spanish language for the workplace." 

I know.  What did they just say?  No matter, just know that I think it's fun and would recommend it.

I also learned that you can order the books on your own.  You can use the CD included instead of attending classes as we are.  They also offer online classes.  I really, really enjoy the in-class situation but realize that isn't always practical.  

So, if you have any interest in learning some Spanish, check out Command Spanish, Inc. and see what you think.  

Credit or Debit?

Last Thursday was mall lunch day.  As usual, we all went through the lines at various businesses in the food court.  I chose pizza that day.  Boy, was that expensive pizza!  Actually,  before I even received my receipt I heard the clerk make some funny gasping sounds.  She seemed pretty upset and then finally explained to me the problem.  She'd accidentally charged me over $800 for my meal!  Yikes!

I had used my debit card for this transaction so she then had to figure out how to issue a credit.  That took some time but she finally managed to do it and gave me that receipt as well.  I was surprised by all this because I thought our debit card had a $300 daily use limit anyway.  I'm not sure but maybe it is because she ran our debit card as a credit card.  I don't know.  Anyway, I didn't throw a fit.  It looked as though she'd reversed everything so I assured her all was well.  She really was more upset than I.  She then ran the transaction for the proper amount and I went off to eat my lunch with my family, telling them of my little adventure.

Do you use a debit card much?  I love the simplicity of it!  I am careful, though.  For instance, if we are eating in a restaurant where they take your card from you at the table and go to a back room to run it, I will only use cash or a credit card.  Why?  Because stuff happens.  I don't want my debit card out of my sight.  As far as I know it wouldn't be more likely to happen with a debit card than a credit card but the repercussions can be more difficult to manage.  

If there is a problem with a credit card, I am pretty confident it will be corrected...eventually.  We've experienced a couple of cases of credit card fraud years ago.  The issuing bank always fixed it for us with no problems.  Actually, it was the credit card company that found one of the errors and reported it to us before we even knew it occurred.  It was some company far away that set off some sort of alarms with the fraud department of the credit card company.  I even had our credit card company fraud people call me on a Christmas morning  regarding a charge they were investigating.  As it turned out, it was a gift I'd ordered for one of our boys.  I asked why that one made them suspicious and it was because they'd had a lot of fraudulent charges of that item in particular.  Anyway, I figure if someone does something bad with a credit card I will have some time to deal with it.

If someone uses our debit card fraudulently I assume the bank will work it out as well.  However, in the meantime it could cause a lot of problems.  For example, it someone used our debit card for a large amount, that amount would immediately be taken out of our bank account.  Even if it is later put back in, during the interval time that money would not be available to us.  We may unknowingly write checks that bounce or have the card rejected when getting groceries or something.  So, I only use it when it stays in my sight, never online or over the phone either.

Well, in the situation of my expensive lunch, I thought the immediate refund would balance it all out.  I learned something new.  Although the clerk put through the credit on that gross overcharge only minutes later, $843.43 was immediately noted on our account as a pending transaction.  Although it didn't ever really go through, that amount was deducted FOR THREE BUSINESS DAYS!  The credited amount did not appear at all until the third day.  I go online and peek at our bank account frequently and I'm glad that I did so that I could adjust as needed!  On day three, everything went through, the refund negated the charge and the drama was over. 

What I learned from all of this is that when your card is used, even though it appears on your account right away, a company has three business days to put it through in its final form.  That is useful for things like renting a hotel room.  The hotel can put the charge through as a pending amount, to be certain your card (debit or credit) will cover the room charge.  However, they may need to change the final amount if you charge room service, a movie or something more on the card.  Or, if using a card for a meal a restaurant may run it through for the cost of the meal to be certain it will be covered.  When you sign for it, though, you may choose to add the tip amount on the bill.  They have up to three days to go back in and adjust that total.  It all seems kind of messed up to me but that's the way it is.

Have you had any weird problems with a debit or credit card?  It can happen with checks as well.  Once, several years ago, Mike's paycheck wasn't applied to our account when we deposited it.  Although we had a receipt, something weird happened at the bank.  We were oblivious to the problem as that was before I could go online and check our account regularly.  That was quite a mess before it was all resolved!

So, here's my banking advice for you.... pay attention.  That's it.  That's the advice.  Just pay attention.  Look at your receipts, check your accounts regularly and report any problems.  That's all the financial advice I have for you.  

If you want real financial advice, including a FREE investment plan,  visit Financial Tailor.   

Parenting

Mike and I have been parenting for 31 years and it is still one of my very favorite things.  There have been some times when it was among the hardest things we've done but the joys have been so much bigger.  I do not take it for granted.

Another favorite thing is watching our children as parents (yes, I count Eric as one of our children as well).  They are very good at it.

Son-in-Law, Eric, with Elise

Daughter, Maria, with Cordelia

Marching Band Competition

Remember my trumpet-playing nephew, Steven?  Last night Mike & I got to go to see him perform in a competition with his band.  His mom (my sister)  wasn't able to be there so I took some photos for her.  You can look, too. though.  It was fun to watch!  I think I would've enjoyed being in a marching band.  I know that Steven does!

And because it is Sunday here is a passage from the book of Amos.


"Seek good and not evil, that you may live; and so the Lord, the God of hosts, will be with you..."

What I Need is a Good Closer

Last night Mike and I watched the St. Louis Cardinals play the Washington Nationals.  The winning team would be done for the season and the losing team would go on to play in the National League Championship.  The Cardinals are the reigning World Series Champions (Mike likes me to say that) but has been a very long dry spell for baseball in Washington.  Like a lot of people, I find it fun to cheer for the underdogs in most situations, but not baseball.  Do you remember to whom I am married?  Remember, we even eat St. Louis Cardinal toast in this house.

This post really isn't about baseball.  It is about crafting.  I know, it's hard to tell that.  Don't underestimate me as I am capable of finding a way to talk about my projects while still getting in a mention of the St. Louis Cardinal's win last night.  It may not make a lot of sense but it will make Mike happy so hang in there with me.

So... last night looked pretty bleak for the Cardinals.  They were behind by 6-1, within one strike of being done.  I'm guessing a lot of Cardinal fans there were already heading to the parking lot. The announcers even seemed to be wrapping things up.  Yet, the Cardinals managed to pull it all out of the toilet.  They won the game!  I know, I know.... still nothing about crafting.  But again, Mike is happy.

Ok, in this paragraph I PROMISE I will make the connection.  While watching the game I saw that the Nationals brought in a new pitcher right near the end.  They called him the "closer".  A closer is a pitcher who can hold up to the pressure often found at the end of a game.  A lot of times they are just brought in for that last inning.  They are highly paid for their ability to finish the job.  It doesn't always work out that way but that's their purpose.  Here's the connection to my crafting... I NEED A CLOSER!  

I love, love, love to crochet, sew, make jewelry, etc.  Often I am in the middle of one project when I dream up another.  I don't know if I'm just so excited about the next project or if I'm just afraid I will forget the new idea, but I often jump up from one and start another... and then another... and yet another.  This morning I pulled some of the bags of projects out of the little nooks and crannies (where did that phrase come from?) of my Rose Room.  Actually, there was no need to pull them out as they were spilling out on their own.  I gathered them up to show you what I mean. 

Here are more bags with projects, hanging on the closet door.

Please tell me you do this, too.  How many unfinished projects do you have hanging around?  

In the spirit of full disclosure, there are even more unfinished projects in my Rose Room than what I've shown you here.  Not for long, though!  I'm ready now, in the mood, to finish what I've started.  I think it is time for some of those projects to make their appearance on Wyoming Rose Boutique.  Yes, I am sending myself in as THE CLOSER!

The Day Mike Gave Me a Shock

Before I start this story I want to say that this is my 600th blog post.  Good grief!  That's like writing 600 assignments but no one is telling me to do it.  Baffling.  Anyway, I'm telling you this because I am a bit worried that perhaps I've blogged the following story before.  However, I didn't get it to pop up with any of the labels I could think of to search.  I'm much too lazy to go back and plow through 600 posts to look for it.  My hope is that I've not told the story before or that if I have, you won't remember it either.  If those hopes fall through, I then hope you'll forgive the repeat.

OK, onward...

Once upon a time, three years into our marriage, Mike and I were living a very different life than we do now.  Only one month after our wedding Mike's dad died.  Not long after that his mom left the farm.  Shortly after that, we moved to the farm.  We were living in the house where Mike had lived his whole childhood.  I'd been rather a gypsy child so the idea of settling down was very, very appealing to me.  It was a delightful life.

Our days were lovely.  I admit I am blocking out the memories of farm equipment breaking down, hurried drives, sometimes 150 miles round-trip, looking for some stupid little part for the tractor.
I'm also blocking out the times we stood at the window watching for clouds when we desperately needed rain.  I'm also blocking out the times we stood at the same window watching a big storm approach, praying it wouldn't hail and ruin the wheat just before it was ready for harvest.

What I do remember are the days of working alongside Mike.  The winter afternoons we had time to play cribbage or other games.  I remember lots of time to sew, crochet or bake.  I remember Mike upstairs singing and playing his guitar.  I remember quiet nights and bright stars, sometimes even Northern Lights.  I remember bringing home our first baby to a community who remembered her great grandmother.  I had friends that I expected to know for a lifetime.  What I'm saying is, I loved our life there.  We both did.

The day of the big shocker is still pretty clear in my mind.  Maria, our first baby, was just two months old.  I'd taken her with me that morning as I was helping out at our church with Vacation Bible School.  After VBS I remember talking with my friend, Valerie.  I really liked her and confided in her how happy I was to be living on Mike's family farm.  I felt I belonged.  I told her I wanted to DIG MY ROOTS 100 FEET DEEP.  Yep, that's what I said.

Later that day, or maybe it was evening, Mike wanted to talk.  I didn't have any premonition of change.  I didn't expect anything out of the ordinary.  I didn't expect to be shocked.  I was, though.  Mike told me he'd been wrestling with something for quite awhile.  He told me he thought he was supposed to be a pastor!  I'm glad to tell you I didn't throw a fit.  I just mumbled, "Well then, let's go" ... or something along those lines.  

OK, maybe that doesn't seem so crazy now because I've known him as a pastor for many years.  It doesn't seem strange at all.  But that day I was really shocked.  Mike was very spiritual and attended church faithfully.  His preference, though, was to arrive at the church exactly as the service began and to leave pretty quickly afterward.  I certainly never got the idea he was being led to pastor a congregation!  Years later Mike's Mom told us his Dad had the idea Mike might someday be a pastor, but I sure never did.

Anyway, this was not Mike's dream.  It was a very, very difficult decision but he knew he was being called and he answered the call.  I was proud of him for that.  At that time he was looking at 7 more years of schooling, not his favorite thing, but he was willing to go.  We spent another year on the farm before things were in place for us to leave, but the rest is history now, isn't it?  

There you have it.  As promised, the story of someone else letting God have control of his life.

Giving Up Control

One thing that is hard to remember, as a Christian, is that I have given up control of my own future.  In fact, that explains the name of my blog; it is a reminder for me that my life is not my own.  Really, it was only a perceived control in the first place.  Like most people, I like to think I have control over my own life.  Anyone who has ever watched the news knows how quickly that control can be lost.  Illness, natural disasters, wars, etc. can all play a part in destroying an individual's feeling of control.  Those things are not what this post is about, though.

I'm talking about giving away control.  I have given control of my life to God.  This is how I do it, though.  I give God control (yes, I know I'm not really giving anything as he always had control), I try to take back control, I repent, I give God control, I try to take back control, I repent, repeat... repeat... repeat.

I think being an American maybe makes it all even more difficult.  I love living in a country that tells me I have the right to pursue happiness and all that.  I'm grateful that I get to choose where I live, my career path, who  I marry and a myriad of other choices.  As glad as I am to have those choices, though, I am constantly trying to hand it all over to God.

A few years ago I saw this prayer printed in a church bulletin.  I clipped it out and stuck it on our fridge where it has been for years.  I found that it is believed the original version was written by Dr. Martin Luther in the 1500's.

If you are not a Christian you may wonder why anyone would want to give control away.  Well, one reason is because we are told to do so...

New Living Translation (©2007) Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. ...but the main reason I choose to give control has to do with trust.  I absolutely trust that God has all wisdom.  I absolutely trust that he will protect me and eventually bring me to himself.  I absolutely trust that he knows better what is important for me in all things.  I absolutely trust that he is God and I am not. How about you?  Do you have times when you want to give God control but are having trouble letting go?  Do you have times when you know that giving up control has turned out to be a blessing to you?  Tomorrow I am going to tell you a story about someone else giving up control to follow an unexpected path.

What I Did and Didn't Know Then

Yesterday, as I was looking for photos of my little sister, I stumbled upon this photo of Mike and me when we were 18 years old.

I know, it's terrible quality.  You have to remember that waaaaaay back then, we were lucky to have enough film in a camera to take even a few photos.  I never took a whole roll at once so it remained in the camera, sometimes for months (years?).  THEN, it was sent off to somewhere like Seattle Filmworks.  Often, when that fat package returned with my prints, I had no idea what photos would be in there.  Usually, few or none were of good quality but nearly all were saved as they were the best we had to remember the pictured event.   

So, terrible quality or not, looking at this photo makes me happy.  It was taken our senior year of high school.  Mike and I had been dating for about a year at that time.  This was taken in the living room of the Christian Church parsonage in Turner, MT... my high school home.  The paintings on the wall were created by my mother.   The photo on the wall is my older brother, who at that time lived so far away we rarely got to see him.  Those striped chairs behind us had been reupholstered more than once by my talented mother.  I made my own prom dress and added that shawl that was a gift from my Grandma.  Mike looked especially cool in his blue polyester leisure suit.  We already knew we loved each other but we knew very little of what our future would hold.  Look at us, though.  Don't we look pleased with ourselves?  It was a happy night.

When I look at that photo, I clearly remember all the hope and excitement for the unknown future. I also remember being a bit nervous.  There is often a lot of pressure on high school seniors to have some things figured out.  How many times are seniors asked about their future plans... what path do they plan to follow?  It's kind of crazy, huh?

The evening that photo was taken, I thought I'd likely go to college to learn sign language as I prepared to teach deaf students.  As it turned out, that wasn't my path at all.  When that photo was taken I'd not yet realized that I really, really needed to be a nurse.  I didn't know anything about Mike's future as a pastor...absolutely no clue.  I didn't know that we'd have a daughter and two sons that would become more important to us than almost anything.  I didn't know Mike and I would someday live in the Seattle area, New Mexico, Wyoming and other places together.  I most certainly did not even consider being grandparents together and loving two precious little girls so much our hearts almost explode.  I had more happiness in my future than I was even able to imagine!

I also didn't know much about grief and loss.  I didn't know what it would be like to be a young wife trying to help a 20 year old husband deal with the loss of his Dad while taking over the responsibility of a farm all on his own.  I didn't know the anguish of miscarriage or the pain caused by learning someone I trusted was not trustworthy.  I didn't know about days when I'd only see Mike for 10 minutes because he was so busy helping other people.  I had a lot of challenges and sadness I'd not yet experienced.  I didn't know what it was like to have children in the hospital.  I had never worked so many hours straight that I was in tears by the time I went home. I didn't know what it was like to worry about household expenses, tuition, children in the hospital or any of those concerns of life.  Even though all of those things eventually molded me into a stronger person, I'm glad I didn't have to know about them ahead of time.

When that photo was taken I didn't know that someday I'd carry around a tiny computer/camera (smartphone) that would give me instant photos and that'd I'd post them for the whole world to see.  In fact, I didn't know that posts would be anything except something to hold up a fence.  I am certain I could not have imagined the power of the internet.  I thought I knew a lot back then, but there was so much more to come.  There were so many changes to embrace/endure.  There was so much adventure ahead!

Looking at the photo, though, I remember that I DID know that I was well-loved by my family, Mike and most importantly, by God.  I trusted that my future was secure because of that.  I still do.  I still look forward to more adventures.  I still feel blessed to have Mike by my side, just as I did in that photo.  I still know that I am loved.

Growing Up With Cerebral Palsy

My younger sister, Tina, has cerebral palsy.  She's done a lot of things in her life despite this fact, things like everyone else.  She went to college, she worked, she married, she had children, she traveled, she even lived in Japan for a time.  Later, she endured a divorce and carried on raising her children alone.  She lives in her own home, drives her own car and has her own friends.  However, all of those things are a lot more work for her than for anyone else.

Tina's life has always been a lot more work than for most of us.  She was such a pretty little blonde girl with a big giant smile!  We are close enough in age I don't really remember watching her learn to walk but it had to have been scary as she had to learn to walk with crutches.  Can you imagine?!  I remember her being just a little tiny girl walking with big clunky braces and teeny, tiny crutches.  At that time, that just seemed normal to me.  That was just the way she walked.

If I remember right, Tina started school in a hospital.  She was 5 years old when our whole family moved to Lincoln, Nebraska.  The reason for our move was because she had a long, long time to be in a hospital.  She was only able to be at home for holidays.  During that year she underwent a lot of misery.  Her hips were dislocated and the process to help her was grueling.  She was in a cast up to her waist with openings for her to go to the bathroom on a bedpan.  There was a bar between her feet.  At intervals, maybe weekly, they cut the bar and added more to it.  Each time we visited, her feet and legs were spread further and further apart until she had her legs sticking out almost to the side with a big round bar holding her legs that way.  It was awful.  I remember that bar very well because when she came home for holidays I shared my bottom bunk with her!  Looking back, I can't imagine how she endured all that.

When Tina was a first grader we were living in Scottsbluff, Nebraska.  Because she was handicapped, she wasn't allowed to go to school with us.  She had to go to a special school that had a classroom for handicapped kids.  I wish I had that photo here (it is at our Mom's house) of her first class.  She's so cute, all smiley and pretty.  In the photo, though she is maybe 6 years old, her classmates are much older.  They ranged all the way through high school age.  Most of them had handicaps of a cognitive nature.  I think Tina had a fun year and didn't know any difference, but that photo always makes my  heart sad.  I can't imagine how it made our Mom feel.

 Later, we lived in places small enough that there were no special classrooms for handicapped kids.  Thanks be to God!  Tina was a very smart little girl and needed a chance to learn alongside her peers.  

Unfortunately, Tina had more to endure.  When she was a third grader she had to go back to that hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska.  Our family had very little money and our Dad was trying to finish college and support us all at the same time.  Tina spent a lot of time in Lincoln, away from her family.  Later, that was repeated when she was in 6th grade or so, in a Shriner's Hospital in Minneapolis.  By then we were living only a few hours away and got to visit a bit more often but she still had to endure pain and frightening procedures alone.  On a side note, though, we all remain grateful to the Shriner's for offering all those services at no charge.  That's amazing.

Tina is smart.  In spite of her strange classroom experiences, she did well and later went through high school in only three years.  I think that those teen years were pretty tough, not that she'd say it to us then.   She was pretty, smart and sweet but a lot of teens, struggling to fit in themselves, did not take the time to get to know the girl on crutches.  I think most were nice to her, but few took the time to develop a true friendship with her.  That can't have been easy on her but it surely made her appreciate those who did see beyond the crutches.  Thankfully, as an adult, she has found a variety of kind and caring people who have been true friends to her.

Tina now writes a blog, Living With Cerebral Palsy, that helps others who are dealing with similar obstacles.  Her blog is also helpful to the rest of us, helping us better understand.  I spent my childhood with her and I still learn things from her blog!  I'm afraid that I was a typical kid, seeing things only from my own perspective and not always realizing what childhood was like for her.  Reading her blog can be eye-opening.  Today, she has a particularly clarifying post.  I really, really hope that you will click here to read what she has to say about living with constant muscle spasms. It's not a whiny post; Tina is not a whiny person.  It is, however, a post that may make you appreciate your own muscles a bit more.

I remember talking to Tina, when we were kids, about how it feels to be unable to walk.  She told me that it just felt normal.  In fact, she told me that the thought of walking like the rest of us was probably the same as it was for me to try to explain how it feels to not be able to flap my arms and fly.  She is, however, looking forward to heaven and to a time when she believes she will be able to walk.  I like to think she'll also be able to fly!